Why Do You Work?

I love it when people learn that I have four kids and assume I stay home. They always look so shocked when they find out I work full-time. Occasionally, I get the snide little attitude of being a teacher so I can stay home with the kids. I will admit, that did factor into my decision to be a teacher, but, the main reason I did it is because I knew I would be good at it.

I didn't get into teaching for money or fame. I didn't do it so I could have Christmas break, Spring break, Summer vacation or snow days. I did it because I knew I could combine two things I really enjoyed, science and young minds. I try to engage those minds as often and in as many ways as I can. It isn't always easy. A sick day isn't really a sick day. If I am home sick, I still check my email and even grade papers if I have them with me. And, I am ALWAYS thinking of lesson plans or new ways to teach things.

Here is what I don't get. I don't understand why some people are in their current jobs. I see facebook statuses about how much they dread going in. I see them complain about coworkers or even bosses. I see them say how much they "hate that place". I see how they don't want to be there when they text it in from their phones. Why do you do it? It really makes me wonder why they work the jobs they do when the people are in trained, well-paying positions that they had to go to school for a few years to be able to do.

I won't lie to anyone and say every single day I work is a piece of cake and I never have any problems. You would know I am lying! However, if you look hard enough, usually, the good will outweigh the bad anywhere you are. You just have to be willing to let go of the negative and look for the positive. That is not always an easy thing to do. I realize many people are in high-stress jobs. My job can be very stressful. However, I have many more days where I feel like I haven't even been to work! It's because I enjoy what I do.

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that people have to pay their bills and sometimes, you gotta take what you get. I am talking more along the lines of professionals. If you are educated enough and smart enough to have a job as a professional, I would think you could easily find a job you would prefer to be working. If you are struggling in that area, at least try to find SOMETHING enjoyable about your job. I feel sorry for people who can't do that. I wouldn't want to be that miserable all the time. If nothing else, be happy there is a paycheck involved! :)

Prayer in Schools

I have heard many different comments about how we "need prayer in schools." I am going to disagree with that statement. I am sure that may come as a shock to some and nowhere near a surprise to others. I am equally sure there are plenty who have no opinion on this topic and could care less. That's ok, too. You don't have to read on ;)

Why do I disagree with prayer in schools? Well, for one thing, I think it should be taken care of at home. If you want your child to be praying in school, teach that child to pray at home. Train up a child in the way he should go and he will never depart from it. Train up means from infancy...not from Kindergarten on.

In my job, I am expected to fill MANY roles. I am an advisor, a nurse, a counselor, a teacher, and occasionally, a warden...just to name a few. I have heard it said, by parents, that when their child is in school, it is the teacher's job to teach the child EVERYTHING. By EVERYTHING, I mean the subjects in school, manners, responsibility, organization, and a host of other things. I honestly feel sometimes that some parents can't wait for their child to turn 5 so they can have free babysitting.

Not only do they expect us to do this, we teachers have many, many people saying that we aren't doing our jobs. We get requests from parents wanting US to explain why the child did poorly on a paper or failed a test. We are asked to monitor a child's health problems, eating habits, allergies, and behavior disorders. On top of this, you are asking me to be their spiritual leader, as well?

I can do that. I would gladly do that. However, it isn't right for me to do that. It's not my job to do that. It's YOURS, the parent. What happens when you ask me to lead prayer in school and I don't pray the way you expect me to? I already get the emails and phone calls about why I don't teach the way you were taught. I get the emails about why your child doesn't bring home a text book every night. Are you reading the Bible to your child every night?

If we allowed prayer back into schools, whose job would it be to monitor who was praying and who was not? We have freedom OF religion. That means that the different denominations and religions are all allowed to worship in individual ways. It means that I CAN NOT, by law, impose MY way of praying on anybody else. So, I say again, want prayer in schools? Don't drop your kid off at Sunday School on Sunday and Wednesday night youth group and expect everything to be ok. Want prayer in schools? Teach your child to pray. The rest will follow...

Today

Ten years already. I have tried to stay away from cliche posts and wallowing in the significance of today, but, I find I just can't. One reason I can't is because of a status that was pointed out to me earlier today. I keep going back to that and wondering how a person can be so unmoved by something so tragic.

This person intimated that 9/11/2001 didn't change him. That it didn't change anyone and we are all being fake by being affected by the event and the anniversary. I must say, I find that pretty callous. I agree he is entitled to his opinion. We all are. However, my opinion is, he is wrong.

Immediately after the event, I was affected. I had plans to fly from Atlanta to Denver two days following. I didn't know if I would get to go or not. I had serious doubts about bringing another child into the world. My children (three of them at the time) were two, two and seven months. I didn't have a clue what kind of world they would grow up in. I was nervous and scared about what they would have to face growing up. I remember thinking how relieved I was that Daddy had retired from the military and worrying about the ones I knew still doing their duty to country. I worried that Daddy would be called back up, anyway. He wasn't even 50 at the time!

I lost a job due to 9/11. How? Company stock dropped because people were more interested in their safety than the products we sold. Not to mention that we had a business in one of the towers. I was a WELL-paid employee and more recently employed than others. Last in, first out. Unfair? Maybe, but, I ended up going back to school for my Master's in Teaching. However, that is another story...

Today, ten years later, I am still affected. One of the first things I thought of this morning was a dear friend of mine. She missed working in the towers that day. Had she not, I might not have met my dear friend. You see, I didn't know her then. I am so thankful I know her, now. Tried to fly anywhere lately? I have. Before 9/11, nobody would have thought to remove their SHOES to be SCANNED before getting on a plane. All liquids can only be a certain size, you can only carry so many bottles, don't even think about trying to take a razor on the plane.

Do I live every day like it is 9/11? No. Just like I don't live every day as if it is my birthday or anniversary. I don't live every day as if it is the day we lost my Daddy, but, that doesn't stop me from thinking about him often. So, while our day-to-day activities may not have changed drastically, we are all still affected in some way. As it is with my Daddy, there are things that happen that make me think about that tragic day on other days of the year. I will NEVER get some of those images out of my head. And, to be honest, I don't want to.

We, as a nation, had become complacent and cocky. We had an attitude of invincibility that reminds me so much of the teenagers I teach. When you think about world civilizations, we ARE the teenagers. Just as it is always tragic to lose a young person too early in life, it was tragic to have our eyes opened to our own vulnerability. If nothing else, THAT should have affected and changed everyone who saw the events of that day.

Why Back to School is Hard for Me...

There is only one reason why I dislike being a teacher. My children. It is very hard to be a teaching parent, sometimes. I have never taken my children to school on their first day of school and that kind of stinks. It made me really sad this morning when I realized that my baby boy is going into the second grade and the only times I have ever taken him to school or picked him up have been when I was out for a sick day or we had a different Spring Break.

I rarely get to attend parent/teacher conferences. I am usually at work talking to other parents. I get to know my children’s teachers through email. I have met support staff at my kids’ schools in places like Wal-Mart or the pool because I don’t often get to be in their schools. This morning, I was almost in tears wishing I could be home when my kids get there today with some warm chocolate chip cookies and milk waiting for them. That will most likely never be.

Now, don’t get me wrong. ANYONE who knows me KNOWS how much I love being a teacher and how much I love my kids. My kids are a huge reason why I AM a teacher. I do get holidays and most school breaks off with them. We get to hang out and spend time together and do all sorts of fun stuff. However, it can be difficult to be unable to be there with my darlings when they are having their first days. Today, for example, I had to leave before all four children left for school. I also will not be home for several hours after them due to Open House at my school. I will miss hearing how the first day went until this evening and that kind of hurts.

Now, would I change it? No. The kids are used to it and it probably doesn’t bother them as much as it bothers me. They do tend to get upset when I can’t go on field trips. That hurts sometimes. I don’t usually get to help out when they have days for parents to come to school. I send baked goods or money as often as I can, but, sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough. I love my children and I love my job. I guess, in the end, I face the same dilemma as most working moms. It just hits me a little bit more in the face because of my chosen profession. :)

Stumbling Blocks

Ok. This is a HUGE issue for some people in the Christian community. I honestly hadn't really thought anything much about it until recently. There was a furor years ago, it died down, only to be rekindled with the most recent and last movie in the Harry Potter series.

My kids like Harry Potter and so do I. I have read all of the books. My oldest two sons have read all of the books. My youngest son is just beginning to read the books. Here is something some people don't think about. They READ the books. They don't BELIEVE the books. Why did I read the books? To protect my children. I knew that they would be exposed in some way. The movies are on TV all the time. What happens if I leave them with a sitter who lets them watch it? Who is to blame when they have questions I can't answer? Me. At least with the way I have done it, I can CONTROL the situation.

I read the books so I could discuss them with my kids. We talked about how fiction and fantasy are different from the real world. We discussed how Christians don't use magic nor do we believe in magic. They also know that going to see a "magician" means sleight of hand and illusions. NOT casting spells and creating potions. They know that there are people who do those things and believe in it. They also know, without a doubt, that to do so is sin. We also discussed that there is no such thing as "white" magic or "good" magic. So, why would I deliberately expose them to this fantasy world? Because it is FANTASY. Plain and simple. It is adventure, it is interesting, it is exciting, and it is fun. I also am quite often liable to read anything that is causing controversy in order to be able to knowledgeably speak from either side of the issue.

I am hearing all kinds of things from people who disagree with this point of view. I am ok with people who disagree. If we all agreed on everything, life would be boring. However, what I am not ok with is people who take things out of context and try to impose their opinions on me and my beliefs. I will listen to anyone's side of an issue presented respectfully and in love. I will not be told that I didn't "find God right the first time so I need to try again" because I have read something I find amusing. I also disagree with people who do not verify their facts before running off at the mouth. I have seen comments such as "drinking blood is an abomination, a sin worthy of hell!" Ummm, does that even APPLY to unicorns? They are fictional, right?

Having said this, I must say, I would never want to be a stumbling block. We are admonished in Philippians 2:12 to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" and in v.13 "For it is GOD who works in you to will and act in order to fulfill his good purpose." My salvation does not depend on someone else's convictions. My salvation depends on MY relationship with God. I HAVE worked this out. I know without a doubt that this issue does not affect my salvation nor my relationship with God, nor my children's. I Corinthians 8:9 says, " Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak." I have two perspectives on this.

The first one that sticks in my head is the way some Christians come across as, "I have all the answers, you are wrong, if you do this, you will go to hell." When you come at an individual, particularly a person who is not strong in such a manner, you can easily cause that person to turn away. By making someone feel as if the only way to God is to give up EVERYTHING that can be enjoyable causes people to not want to have a relationship with God. By the same token, if my watching Harry Potter (or Lord of the Rings, or Bewitched, or Chronicles of Narnia) causes a weak person to stumble, it is my duty to NOT talk about, watch, read, or embrace those things with that person. There again, we lead to working out our own salvations.

Do I expect everyone to agree with me? No. If you are offended or feel that these books, movies, stories are not for you. I am totally ok with that. I would never presume to tell a person that he or she HAD to agree with me because this is the way God and I see it. I would be willing to explain my point of view, however, many people will shut down and shut off their ears. Liking fantasy does not make me a bad person. It makes me different, even interesting to some. I will not apologize for being confident enough in who I am and in my relationship with God that I can and have seen and read something that is a pure work of fiction.

Sports Parents

After last night, I just HAD to make this post. I love being a sports mom. I really enjoy watching my kids play and seeing how they have improved year after year. It is amazing to me to watch them grow and change. Sometimes it is funny because recent growth spurts make them seem awkward until the get used to it.

I am an INTENSE mom. I watch everything my kids do. I offer helpful suggestions. I praise good work. I can whistle (loudly) through my teeth. If I see one of my children goofing off or not paying attention, I whistle. They KNOW that whistle. One can see their heads snap up and look straight at me. I point, they nod, then get into position. Other parents have learned my method and it doesn't even phase them. They do, however, look to see which kid is getting corrected. It is especially useful with my older two. They always play on the same team, so, sometimes, BOTH heads snap up! It also helps when one is hit by a pitch, receives a hard tackle, or fouled in basketball. I whistle, the child looks, I raise an eyebrow or do a thumbs up and the child either gives me a thumbs up, nods, or shakes the head. Silent communication from the playing field. They ALWAYS know Mama is watching and paying attention.

What I don't like about being a sports parent is other sports parents. I don't mean the ones like me. I mean the ones who have to coach EVERY child on the team from their camp chairs or the bleachers. I mean the ones who scream at their kids for a bad play or striking out. I am talking about the ones who will stretch or break rules just to WIN. The ones who try to live vicariously through their children. THOSE parents make angry. You cannot expect a 12-year-old boy to hit like Babe Ruth! A ten-year-old girl is NOT normally going to hit a home run. A seven-year-old boy is NOT going to catch every fly ball hit near him.

The kids need to have fun. Intensity and competitiveness comes later. I will admit that there is quite a big difference watching my older two compared to my younger two. They are reaching an age where they are hard on themselves and want to win every game. That is ok with me. I want them to WANT to be good at what they do. I don't want them to think that they have to do it for me or for their daddy.

Last night was a prime example of why I don't like other sports parents. Many of these people coach. I am glad for that. I don't think I could do it. I truly don't think I have the skill to do it. However, the cocky, cheating coaches are the ones that irritate me. At my daughter's game, the other team came out with attitude. I know that may sound silly to some, but, it is true. You can see it in the arrogance of the coach and the way he talks to his team. It was also in the way he showed his team how to rejoice over the missteps of ours. He also started off the game in my bad graces by saying his team hadn't lost a game. Which was not true. They lost to us. Our girls were the only undefeated team this season. Why did he say this? So they could be the home team and have last at bat.

I watched the girls on the other team. They were so VERY hard on themselves. One of their pitchers was in tears because of the runs she had allowed. I lay all of this on her parents and her coach. I was turned off immediately because of how he questioned the rules. He then argued with a run that we got because our girl was hit by the ball thanks to one of his girls. There was no one keeping the scoreboard. I heard him say to the umpire at the end of one inning, "I don't know, we have eight or NINE, I think." The score was 8-5. He knew this, he was just trying to pad his lead. Our girls scored two and held them in the bottom of the next inning.

The top of the last inning comes up. I leaned over to Chris and said, "Watch, he's going to try to call time on the game." Sure enough. He got his girls in the dugout and had them start lining up like they were going to shake hands. Thankfully, the umpire, though he was but a 14-year-old kid, told him there was one inning to go after he said, "Isn't that time?" Happily, our girls came back, scored 9 runs and won the game 16-8 by holding the other team in the bottom of the last inning. I am VERY proud of how gracious our girls were. They cheered for the other girls, they clapped for them as they were handed their medals for second place, and showed NO attitude.

These types of coaches are the ones who ruin sports for kids. By not teaching them to be gracious, good sports, the kids learn ugliness. They feel at an early age that they must win at all costs or they feel like failures. They don't learn to ENJOY what they are doing for fear of some type of retribution for failure, whether it be verbal or in the form of extra practices, running, etc. We have been fairly lucky with our kids coaches. So far, there has only been ONE I have come close to having words with and it was a good thing I missed one game, in particular! However, should the day come where I see a coach causing my kids to cry, hate what they are doing, or learn to cheat, you better believe MAMA will make sure Coach is informed...

What Are You Doing? Part II

I was asked yesterday to explain a little bit about how I used what I know of science to help myself lose weight. Once again, I have to say, I am by no means an expert. I probably know just enough to get myself into trouble :) However, I will endeavor to explain some here.

First of all, I will address calories. Calories are basically a unit of energy. Certain foods contain more calories than others. EVERYTHING you eat has calories. Of course, your higher in sugar and higher in fat foods have more calories than your fruits and vegetables. The key is to get calories from foods that are good for you while not feeling deprived or hungry.

Most foods are made up of calories from three sources, protein, carbohydrates, and fat. It is always better to get your calories from protein and carbs than from fat. However, you do need a certain amount if fat for your body. There are some vitamins that are only fat-soluble and your body can only absorb them in the presence of fat. One still needs to be careful with fat. Gram for gram, fat packs more than twice the calories of protein and carbs. I try to avoid foods that get more than half of their calories from fat. Basically, how I figure that is if a serving is 1 cup, the calories is 100, and the fat grams is 5.5, I multiply the grams of fat by 10, which gives me 55. If that number is more than half of the calories, I avoid it, unless I am just CRAVING it :) You should always listen to your body. Sometimes a craving is something you actually need.

Protein is found in all of your meats. However, there are other sources of protein that many don't realize are there. Diary products contain protein. Cheese, milk, ice cream, yogurt, cottage cheese, etc all have protein. Eggs are a good source of protein. Eggs are controversial to many people because of the cholesterol. However, the body also needs some cholesterol to function. Other sources of protein include beans, nuts, and legumes. Protein is very important when exercising because it helps your body build muscle. My protein intake is pretty high right now and I am building muscle. I can see it and feel it. I have to remind myself not to get frustrated when that number on the scale doesn't go down because muscle does weigh more than fat.

Carbohydrates are probably the most difficult thing to cut back on because they are found in practically EVERYTHING you eat except some of your meats. Carbohydrates are essentially sugars in various forms. Anything you eat that has sugar has carbohydrates. By sugar, I don't mean just sucrose (table sugar). I also mean fructose (fruit sugar), lactose (milk sugar), maltose (grain sugar), and various other sources. Basically, if it ends in "-ose", it is a type of sugar. These sugars come mainly from plant products. Once again, you MUST have some of these sugars daily in order for your body to function. I am currently trying to get less than half of my energy from carbs because of how easily they can turn into fat.

Taking in too many carbohydrates can cause weight gain. When carbohydrates are not burned, they turn into sugars and get stored in the body as fat. An excess of 3,500 calories can turn into 1 lb. of fat. Conversely, burning an extra 3,500 calories will reduce your fat or weight by 1 lb. The difficulty here is figuring out if you are actually burning extra calories. Most people don't realize that your body needs a certain amount of calories just to function normally in an average day. It takes calories to breathe, have your heart beat, your kidneys function, and digest food. So, anything you burn over that amount can burn off fat and lead to weight loss. That amount is called your BMR or Basal Metabolic Rate. It is the bottom line number of calories your body needs in order to function. There is a formula used for calculating this number.

• Adult male: 66 + (6.3 x body weight in lbs.) + (12.9 x height in inches) - (6.8 x age in years)

• Adult female: 655 + (4.3 x weight in lbs.) + (4.7 x height in inches) - (4.7 x age in years)

However, if you take in fewer than that amount of calories, your body will burn stored fat to continue functioning. While it is possible to lose weight by taking in less than your BMR recommends, it is a slower process than it would be if you were to add exercise. My BMR is a little over 1,500. I am averaging around 1,200 calories per day consumed. Keeping in mind the 3,500 rule, it would take nearly two weeks to lose one pound. As it is, I am averaging burning around 1,000 calories a day more than I take in. This is the reason why I have been averaging around a 2 lb. per week weight loss.

I really recommend a person add a good multi-vitamin when embarking on a weight loss routine. It is important to ensure your body is still getting the nutrition you need. If you start without one and add it later, you will notice a difference in how you feel. Cutting down on food also cuts down on some essential nutrients, so, a vitamin is very important. Be sure to listen to your body. If it says "enough" let that be enough. I have made it as much as five miles running, and then had to cut down to three the next day. It really makes a difference when you let your body tell you what it needs.

I hope this helps. I will be happy to answer any more questions anyone has. However, my experience and advice are not to be taken in the place of a licensed nutritionist or physician. These are just the things that I have learned personally. :D Happy weight loss!

What Are You Doing?

That has been the question "du jour" for me lately. I have to admit, I am very proud of my weight loss. It hasn't been easy and it actually gets harder. Harder? Yep. The more weight I lose, the fewer calories are burned with the same activities. That REALLY sucks! However, the cool thing is, I can now run for FIVE miles!

Now to the question. I am the last person to be giving advice. I am just as lazy as the next couch potato. However, I had reached a point in my life where it was, lose the weight or keep getting bigger. I certainly wasn't losing much by not changing anything I was doing except eating salads for lunch! I knew that if I were going to do it, it would HAVE to be a lifestyle change. Not just a diet.

I couldn't fathom the thought of joining a group, a club, a gym, or a diet plan. Those things cost money! Money I don't have to blow on special things like that. Not with four children. So, I decided to take my degree in biology and my knowledge of human anatomy and put it to use.

I am using www.livestrong.com to track things. I track the foods I eat and the activities I do. I noticed that half of my food lately is made up of carbs, so, I am trying to cut down on that. It is HARD to do. I usually go over on my daily recommended protein, but, that's ok because I can SEE that I am building muscle.

The most important thing I have done for myself is NOT deprive myself. I have cut down on sweets and empty calorie foods. I rarely eat things like chips or cookies, but, I DO allow myself to have them. I try to eat a good breakfast every day. I make sure I have a good protein source, usually an egg. Lunch is usually very light. Maybe a salad or some raw veggies. For dinner, I eat what the rest of the family is eating, only a smaller portion than I used to eat. I even allow myself NOT to clean my plate :)

Working out is NOT easy, but, I have made it bearable for myself. I use our Wii Fit. When I started, I would do one round of Advanced Step Aerobics, then, try to run, and another round of aerobics. The aerobics I would use for warm up and cool down. I have reached the point now where I can do ten minutes of aerobics and five miles of running followed by another ten of aerobics. Some days are harder than others, trust me!

I was not able to do this until I wanted to do it for myself. I have dieted before, but, I tried to do it just by food. That really doesn't help. I felt deprived and hungry. Now, I am truly trying to make it a part of my life. The rewards are great! My daughter put her arms around me a few days ago. She said, "Mama, I used to only be able to get my arms around you like this" and held her arms out further, grabbing her wrists, "now, I can do this!" and she hugged me tightly grabbing her elbows. That felt so good! The kids are noticing, too! The best part, has been getting to shop in the LADIES section! When I started this journey, I was wearing a 20-22 or XXL in Women's clothing. I am now buying shirts in a 12-14 or a Large. I did get to buy my first shirt in a MEDIUM a few days ago! The first time I tried on a shirt from the Ladies section, I stood in the dressing room and cried. Trust me, if I can do it, so can you :)

Middle Schoolers are Fun!

Teaching middle school is full of challenges. The students will try your patience. They will be forgetful. They will not have homework when it is asked for. They get temperamental and moody. They have a new boyfriend and new best friend every week. Drama abounds.

I still love teaching middle school. The kids are pretty open for the most part. You know rather quickly whether they love you, tolerate you, or downright hate you. I enjoy hearing, “Mrs. Lumley! You are my favorite teacher!” It is cute when they randomly yell in the hall or cafeteria, “Mrs. Lumley! I love you!” Those things can really brighten one’s day.

This past week was a difficult one for me, and the kids could tell. They didn’t really know why, but they knew I “wasn’t right”. One afternoon, I had one student bring me a Hershey bar. Very sweet. (No pun intended). One morning, I had a student show up with a gorgeous, freshly picked flower, because I might like it. I had the students do an assignment where they made a little booklet to explain a concept. There were two blank pages left at the back. One student decided to use these for a purpose other than leaving it blank. Here is what was written:

Mrs. Lumley Jokes

Mrs. Lumley sucked the poison from a rattle snake and poisoned the rattle snake with it.

Prior to contrary belief, Mrs. Lumley told the master sense what to do.

Mrs. Lumley died as a child, death just hasn’t built up the courage to tell her yet.

Mrs. Lumley once ran a marathon backwards just to see what second place looked like.

Some magicians can walk on water, Mrs. Lumley can swim through land.

Mrs. Lumley has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life.

Mrs. Lumley can cut through a knife with hot butter.

Mrs Lumley won American Idol using sign language.

Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Mrs. Lumley stories.

Mrs. Lumley uses grizzly bears for pillow pets.

When Mrs. Lumley wants ice cream, she eats Antarctica. Fear if spiders is Arachnophobia, Fear of tight spaces is Claustrophobia. Fear of Mrs. Lumley is called logic…

Vengeance is...

not mine. I was shocked last night to hear the news that Bin Laden had finally been captured. Not only captured, but, killed. Ten years is a long time to be on a manhunt. (I certainly wouldn’t have been on a manhunt for a husband that long!)

I struggled a lot last night with my feelings over his death. There was at first a sense of shock. I can’t believe they finally did it. Then, there was relief. It was finally over. Then, there was sadness. My Daddy would have loved to hear that. There is also a new fear. What will they try to do now?

The biggest struggle for me has been how thrilled so many people are to see a man dead. The Bible tells us that one sinner returned to the Lord causes heaven to rejoice. It also tells us what awaits those who do not turn to the Lord before death. Are we really so thrilled to think of him suffering for all eternity?

Do I believe he deserved justice? Absolutely. I think it was the right thing to do for the military to go in, pursue him, and give him the option to surrender and receive his fair trial. He refused to surrender. His death was justified. Upon his death, he answers to only One. I, for one, would not want to be standing before the Lord and answering for the things he has done.

Romans 12:19 says: Dearly Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God. For it is written, “Vengeance is mine. I will repay.” Says the Lord. I do not believe in vengeance. It is unhealthy. It causes bitterness and anger. The desire for vengeance can turn into an obsession. It is not the place of any human, particularly Christians, to seek vengeance, that is the Lord’s job.

However, God gave us guidelines, just, righteous guidelines to follow and we must follow them. Bin Laden did not follow God’s guidelines and was brought to justice, which God permits by commanding us to obey the law of the land and those who rule over us. The order was given and implemented and a man is dead. May God have mercy on his soul.

I Like My Son

I know that sometimes, my kids can drive me NUTS! Especially, the older two! They are in that goofy, hormone-filled, dumb as a brick but I know more than Mom stage! More than once I have wanted to scream and tear my hair out! Anyway, Nathan touched my heart by writing an essay on someone he admires. I got a copy of it from his teacher because she loved it. It felt good to get it. I am going to copy it here, word for word.

" Some of my mom's friends know her well but not like I do. My mom is a teacher at Boone. People would think she is a regular Science teacher, but, she makes kids laugh by freaking others out. She will sneak up behind other students that are doing wrong like having their feet on the desk and smack a yardstick on the desk and scare them. She is also a good cook, but she uses ingredients and food that shouldn't go together, but the taste good. She can also read with the TV on. Even with her favorite show playing, her nose can be right in the book. Also, she is on facebook a lot. She will be on her laptop and 99 percent of the time she will be on facebook. She also likes to use the fireplace a lot. She will burn through fourteen logs a day and can get one started in to time at all, well five minutes. So my mom isn't ordinary."

I just had to share because I thought this was too cute. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did :)

Pranks

I spent part of last week and all of the past weekend really sick. I had multiple infections, fever, etc. I was so exhausted, I didn't feel like doing much of anything. I slept a lot and ate very little. I had people asking me every day if I were feeling better. Then they stopped. Why did they stop? Because they saw my facebook statuses.

Those statuses were about my use of a gorilla mask. We have one from a couple of years ago that Nathan wore for Halloween. It is huge and black and hairy. I used the mask several different times over the course of a couple of days to mess with the boys. I popped up right in front of Benjamin while he was playing the Wii. I waited for him and for Matthew outside the bathroom when they took showers. I popped out and scared Nathan. I waited in Matt's bed with the mask on for him to get in the bed. ALL of those occasions got GREAT results!

I have been a prankster for a long time. When I was younger, I LOVED to put fake spiders and such in my mother's bed and would lay in mine waiting for the scream. It was always awesome. I would lay in my bed laughing and laughing. Later, in college, I pulled a few good ones, too. One that sticks out to me now is when a friend was visiting and I snuck away from a bonfire to scare her. Little did I know she would completely collapse into a heap at my feet! I thought I had killed her! Luckily, I noticed her shaking with laughter! Of course, I did the usual handful of shaving cream type pranks, too. Those are always classics.

Will I pay for it? Probably. Do I care? No. Are my kids turning into pranksters? Absolutely. However, they do need to be aware that Mama is always thinking of another way to get them. Nathan and Matt have been pulling pranks since they were tiny. They loved to trick people and hide in unusual places. It seems they come by it naturally...

Five Minutes in the Mind of Benjamin

Well, I woke up this morning with the "Benjimonster" in my bed, again. This is nothing unusual. He is a cuddler. He LOVES to wake up and hug and roll in the bed with us. This morning was particularly fun.

Chris woke about the same time I did. We were both just looking at Benjamin and I mentioned how his profile this morning looked very much like his ultrasound pictures. Then, Chris started talking about his features and how his nose was turned up like mine at the end and how he had my lips. We were REALLY looking to see what he had inherited from his Daddy. It was a fun conversation. Chris finally declared that Benjamin was my son and not his.

Benjamin woke up, wrapped his arms around my neck and kissed my cheek. I told him what his Daddy had said and asked if it were correct. He said, "Yes! I'm YOUR son." He then proceeded to roll over, look at Chris and yell that there was a "stranger" in the bed. He yelled again, "STRANGER!" and "Get out of my bed!"

Well, of course, I thought this was funny! Who wouldn't? I mean he is seven years old and making up that kind of stuff! Then, Chris proceeded to tell him that if he were a stranger, Benjamin wouldn't be allowed to get in his bed any more because he didn't allow strangers in his bed. So, Benjamin said, "Then why are YOU here?" The boy is comical! AND quick!

Right now, he is watching Tom & Jerry. Of course, Tom is chasing Jerry and making a mess. Benjamin says, "Why are you destroying the house, Tom?! A perfectly good house!" I just LOVE the way his mind works!

Anniversaries

I have lots of "anniversaries" in my life. Birthdays are a kind of anniversary. There's the anniversary for graduations, for major events, even for deaths. Of course, the first thing people think of when one says anniversary is that yearly one with your spouse. Well this is lucky number 13 and it has been the most different of all.

First of all, we are in a totally different state! When we met, Chris said he never thought he would leave Georgia. Well, I cured him of that by causing him to move to Tennessee so he could be with me while I finished college. Then, there was the whole never leaving the mountains thing for me. Yeah, that's kind of out the window, too.

Secondly, it is on a Sunday. I really don't like to celebrate things on a Sunday if possible. I like to maintain that one day for family. We hang out together after church. I fix a big meal that cooks while we are gone, we eat as soon as we get home, then there's NAP TIME, for me, anyway. The kids just don't seem to need naps any more. So, while today IS our anniversary, for the most part, it has felt like any other Sunday, and I am ok with that. Actually, there is one difference. This is the first time I EVER remember it snowing on our anniversary :)

I saw something earlier that made me think. A person said, nobody uses the "F word" anymore...forever. 13 years feels like forever. Chris and I have been together nearly a third of my life. It doesn't seem that long ago that I kept asking my bridesmaids if he was "out there" and if they could see him. Chris and I decided before we ever got married that the "D word" (divorce) would never enter our conversations. Not even jokingly. If we make it so easy to get away from each other and even joke about it, why would we bother with the "F word"?

I AM a Science Teacher

Most of you already know this fact about me. That's usually one of the first things people find out about any person. "So, what do you do?" People always seem so impressed that I teach science. Oh, they think I have to be smart to do that. Do I? I dunno. I work hard to make sure I know about what I am teaching the kids. I can't stand to make a mistake, but, I love for them to learn.

Part of teaching science is doing labs. I love to do labs. My philosophy is kids can't learn science unless they do science. Learning science means getting their hands in there and getting them dirty. Getting into whatever they are doing and not caring if it creates a mess. Who cares? Learning is happening!

I have had students call me Miss Frizzle. I think that's awesome! I love that they feel like I am excited and they must think my methods are interesting to make the comparison! I wish I really did have a magic school bus! That would be so cool!

I have had kids call me "Mama" because they want to, not as a mistake (of course, that has happened, too). It's really funny when a 6'3", 300 pound seventh grader from the ghetto comes up, leans his head down on top of yours and says, "Good morning, Mother." It is also pretty special. It lets you know you have done something to earn respect.

I enjoy what I do and I love to make my kids laugh. They always try to "get me", but, usually lose. I admit I have a really quick wit and sometimes have to catch my own tongue before my quick with gets me into trouble. Some kids aren't quite ready for some of the things that come to my mind!

A couple of days ago, I had a first. I have had labs that didn't go as planned before, that's no big deal. You adjust and go on. However, when the entire room fills with smoke, sugar starts burning, and the room starts smelling like a campfire with marshmallows, I would say that is a lab REALLY not going as planned! The kids loved it! They have talked about it for days! The later classes were very upset that they didn't get to do the same thing. Sorry, nearly setting off the fire alarms once is more than enough for me. Custodial had to come in and bring a huge fan, we had to open the window and doors in 30 degree weather, and it took FOREVER to get the smell and smoke out. Oh well, at least they now know how to super saturate water with sugar!

Priorities

Something happened to me at work the other day that has stuck with me since and keeps pricking at my heart. I was there early, like I normally am. This day, my carpool partner and I got to the school before the secretaries, which happens sometimes. We always go into the office and check our mailboxes before going to our rooms. It's just kind of a thing we do. Well, on the way out of the office, there was a parent waiting.

This isn't really unusual. Parents come into the building all the time. This time, though, was different for me. Why was it different? Because of the very short conversation we had with the parent. The parent had brought some medicine for a child to be given to the nurse who had not yet made it to school yet, either. Then, there was another request. To make a phone call to the high school for the other child who was sick. You see, the family didn't have a phone.

It made me stop and think. That parent walked to school to bring medication for a child. I know this because of the ice crystals that had formed on the hair around the face from breathing out and the breath forming condensation, then crystals. Then, getting to the school, the parent wanted to make sure that the high school knew about the sickness of the older child and the only phone available was the one at our school.

I walked to my classroom nearly in tears. It really touched my heart. I have seen and dealt with poverty. I have seen parents that would get their hair and nails done before buying food. I have had students with the latest cell phones, but, no money for school clothes. I have seen some REALLY backwards priorities when it comes to poverty. Money that could be used for food traded for drugs or car rims. While, this time, the poverty was evident, there were also evident priorities in place.

The kids were obviously more important than anything. The kids came first to the point of walking medication to school in freezing temperatures, and then getting word about illness to the high school. That money for medication could have been spent on anything else. The money could have been spent on cell phones, a car, or just gas. It makes me wonder if I do a good job of placing my priorities in their proper places. It also makes me feel blessed beyond measure.

There have been some difficult times in my life since I had children. There have been some lean years and some weeks where I had to REALLY stretch the budget for groceries. But, I have never had to choose between taking care of my kids or taking care of myself. They do always come first, no matter how selfish I want to be. But, what about other things? Is there something I "have to have" that I can do without? Is there something that is a priority to me that is not a priority to God, nor should it be? Let me have my priorities in order, always.

Mothers Are So Embarrassing...

Well, I didn't think the time would come, but, it has. I am an embarrassment. I found this out last night. We went to a performance for Abbi and dragged all the boys with us. We all sat down in a row in the auditorium. Benjamin was beside me, but, decided he wanted to be on top of me.

We played, he aggravated his Daddy, and it was pretty much a normal event while we waited for the performance to begin. Nathan sat in the chair on the other side of where Benjamin would have been sitting, had he chosen to sit on the chair instead of me.

We did a little bit of talking. Nathan made a comment here and there. Benjamin continued to waller all over me and aggravate his Daddy. He loves to be rough and tumble. In the midst of the playing, I reached my hand over in between the seat between Nathan and myself. When he refused to acknowledge my hand, I tapped his arm. He acted like he didn't know what I wanted. I said, "Well, FINE then! Benjamin still loves me!" Nathan responded, "He's seven. He doesn't get embarrassed, yet." Picture my heart deflating a little. I am THAT mom.

You know, when you were younger and your mom wanted to hug you or even worse, KISS you in front of people! GASP! MOM! REALLY! I am guessing that applies to hand-holding as well. My sons have reached that stage...the one I have dreaded...I'm not cool any more. I noticed a while back, they don't tell me they love me on the phone any more. At least they don't if they are calling from school or around their friends. Or, I get the really fast, "loveyoutoo," in a near-whisper voice. SIGH. I am old. And not cool.

I am going to have to get used to this new phase of my life. I can't say that I didn't know it was coming. I did. I just wanted to be able to hang on to my little boys a little while longer. I guess now, I will accept what attention I can get when it comes to affection from the boys. Nathan did make it a little better today. We were walking into a grocery store, he reached over, took my arm, and briefly put his head on my shoulder while we were walking. I'll take it.

Blinders or Glasses?

I came across a video on facebook the other day. This video made me think and made me cry. Part of the reason it made me cry is because I sometimes struggle with which side of this video I belong on. I wonder if I am the one wearing glasses, blinders, or needing someone to wear glasses. I want to be the one wearing glasses.

In the video, a man is essentially selfishly running through life. In his mind, everyone around him is self-centered and a jerk. Nobody cares that he is caught in traffic, or they stepped in front of him in line. He is very passive aggressive in his attitude. While he is waiting (impatiently) for his coffee, a man walks up and hands him some glasses. When he puts them on, he sees what others are struggling with.

There is the man who just lost his job. There is a woman who avoids relationships for fear of pain. There is a single mom raising two kids and working two jobs. There is a child who just needs someone to care. Every time he goes to take the glasses off, he gets curious and puts them back on. In the end, he decided to at least do something with the kid who simply needed someone to care.

A lot lately, I have felt like I needed someone wearing those glasses who would just care about me. I have wondered why nobody can see what I am struggling with or how much pain I am in. This video made me want to stop thinking about my hurt. Yes, I am hurting a lot. Yes, I am lonely and struggling with grief, still. But, what is going on with those around me? Who else is hurting? Who else is struggling? Who else just wants someone to care?

I want and need to take off my blinders. You see, the blinders made me think only about me. The blinders made me not reach out so much to others because of holding on to my own hurt. I am going to do my best to put on my glasses. I want to look at those around me and actually SEE them. I want to see beyond facades and faces that people put on and help them or at least be there for them. If I can make a difference in one, that person can make a difference in another. I think that by helping others, I will truly be helping myself.

WOW!!!!

That is the link to the video. I hope you enjoy it.

Sometimes Life Isn't Fair

Normally, I try to post things that are funny, nice to read, sometimes insightful, or hopefully thought provoking. Well, to be honest, I just don't fell like doing that right now. So, I am not going to. If you came looking for something good today, consider yourself given fair warning, it ain't gonna happen.

I am honestly beginning to hate the month of February. It especially hard this year. My birthday is this month. So is my Cheri's birthday. We have celebrated together for the last several years. We either choose one night to celebrate both or choose two nights to celebrate each other. It didn't really matter, as long as we were able to go out together. We can't do that this year and it just sucks. I have cried more than once.

I have had SOMETHING happen on or around my birthday the last few years that has upset me. I guess maybe I am too sensitive around that time, too. Especially since this will be the 9th year in a row I have turned 29. I am not dealing well with that, either. It seems that someone is thoughtless, or I get bad news around my birthday too often anymore. I am tempted not to even celebrate it at all this year.

Tonight is the Super Bowl. I can't tell you the last time it was Super Bowl Sunday and we didn't have somewhere to go or someone to come over. We are still building relationships here and I am honestly not comfortable enough to have people over. We haven't been invited anywhere, really, but that is just a part of living in a new area, I guess. I can handle that. I will fix "football food" and we will hang out with the kids.

Valentine's Day? I can take it or leave it. I don't need to be taken out to dinner once a year because tradition dictates it. I hate fighting the crowds to get into a restaurant that day, anyway. It is annoying to me. I used to LOVE getting gifts or attention then. Not so much anymore. It is 12 days before my birthday and I am kind of like the kid with a December birthday. I don't want a combination present. I don't see the point spending a bunch of money that day when my birthday is less than two weeks away, but, then again, I am just not thrilled about the birthday thing anyway, so, let's just get through this month and get it over with.

No, Life isn't fair. I don't get to follow the traditions I am used to. There is more snow on the ground than I have ever seen in my life. I am struggling with reaching out right now. I lost my Daddy four months ago. My hair is turning gray and I need to lose weight. Sorry to sound so bitter, but, I needed to get it out. Love to all who read and thanks for letting me vent.

Wrong Era

I said in an earlier post that I was born in the wrong era and I was going to have to blog about it. I am doing that now. I am not sure what I even really mean to say here or how I am going to say it, but, here goes...

The post I was referring to was the one where I was talking about how much I love a fire or fireplace. I have even cooked with wood before. I loved it! I know it would be hard to do all the time and not as convenient as gas or electric, but, I enjoyed it.

Another reason I feel that way is because of how much I love to garden. If I could have a vegetable garden every summer, I would do it. I haven't had many opportunities to grow vegetables living in the city so much, but, I would. To me there is nothing like home grown, home canned vegetables. Whenever I get a chance, I go to farmer's markets and buy fresh vegetables. I even found a place here where you can pick your own! That makes me happy! I just recently used the last of the green beans I had put up from the summer. They were frozen, but, still very good!

While I love the convenience of driving where ever I want, it would be awesome to have some horses. I love to ride horses. I would keep and ride horses if I could. Once again, living in the city, I can't do that.

Some of my favorite books to read are from the pioneer days. I know those people suffered hardship and worked very hard for what they had, but, I very much enjoy reading about how they help shaped the society in which we live today. They were honest and real and so unlike so many people today. The things they had meant something to them. They weren't things to take for granted. I think that is one reason why it appeals to me so much. They knew the value of what they had and how they got it. We are so spoiled today.

Probably the only drawback for me had I been born back then is the clothes. I honestly can't see myself wearing dresses or skirts day after day. I do enjoy the practicality of pants. I have never really been a jeans wearer, though. Dressing down for me is dressing up to some. Of course, had I been born then and that was all I knew, I guess I would have worn dresses all the time, too. Guess I will never know...

Three Girls and a Bathroom

This morning, I got up to take a shower and decided to turn on the Pandora app on my phone. I was listening to music and belting it out. I don't normally listen to music when I am in the shower because everyone else is usually asleep. While I was showering, I had a thought. I was thinking about how convenient Pandora is and how much better than the old radio with an antenna that you had to make sure was in the right spot or you didn't get music.

Then, I started to reminisce. I started remembering being in high school, living at home with my parents. I remembered those mornings with that radio playing. I remembered one bathroom and three girls. The bathroom had the best light. That was the best place to put on the makeup. It was also where the washer and dryer were. It was barely big enough for three girls, but, we managed.

There was a mirror over the sink and a larger one over a vanity type table in the bathroom. There were the usual fights over who was using which mirror and who was using which hair implement. Keep in mind...this was during the "big hair" days. We HAD to use the hair dryer, curling iron, hair spray, hair picks, mousse, and whatever else was handy! All the electrical hair stuff was by the small mirror, so, we had to play musical mirrors. One would be working on hair while two worked on makeup and then we would switch out. We somehow managed to work out a system that caused less fighting. All the while, we were listening to that radio.

Poor Daddy. We girls had to be up by 6:00 to catch the bus by 7:00 for school that started at 8:00. How was a lone man ever to manage with all those girls?! Heaven forbid he should need to use the bathroom! He came up with his own solution to that one. He would get up at 5:00 when he didn't have to be at work until 7:00 just to make sure he got to use the bathroom!

Ah, that radio. It had the big silver antenna off the top of it. It had to be set just right. If it ever fell over, there was a mad scramble to fix it. It had to be turned just the right way and sometimes needed a little boost from a wire hanger to get the best reception. That poor radio went through so much. It became caked and coated. It got covered in hairspray, makeup, perfume, and whatever else floated around in that bathroom. It's funny. Nowadays, the only time I see a radio like that is on a TV show from the 80's...makes me feel old. Nevermind, I will say it makes me feel nostalgic :)

A Fire

My husband and my mother accuse me of being a fire bug. I will get a fire started in the fireplace and keep it going. I have to make myself leave it alone sometimes because of how much I enjoy it. I absolutely love a wood fire in a fireplace. I have loved wood fire for a very long time.

My first experience with a wood fire was as a very young girl. I was probably three or four years old. My grandparents had a wood heater. I loved watching my Papaw build a fire in his wood heater. I just thought it was amazing to watch the wood catch and burn. After that, Daddy went back into the military and we started moving around again. I missed that fire.

Jump ahead about 12 years. My parents decided they didn't like paying high gas bills and so they bought a wood heater for our house in Georgia. I was an older teenager and still loved a fire. I would play with candles and make wax figures. I would light three or four of them and mess with them while they burned, so a wood heater was just another excuse for me to play with fire some more.

I would chop wood, stack wood, and build fires. I learned how to start a fire with a little kindling and stack the wood just right. I learned how to make it so that the fire would burn all night and give off heat for the whole house. I learned how to stack the dryer wood on bottom so the green wood could burn longer.

I now have a wood burning fireplace. This is the second house we have lived in with a fireplace. A fireplace makes me happy. I don't know why. It just does. There is something homey and cozy and earthy about having a fire in the fireplace. I think the real thing going on with me and fire is that I was born in the wrong era. I may have to write a blog on that...

Whose Job is it to Parent?

I am going to have to go on a rant here. I am so frustrated with some of the things I am seeing lately. I posted on my facebook about some students at a high school. Some 90 girls were pregnant or had had a child in the last month. And, the SCHOOL was scrambling to fix the problem. They were the ones looking into things to do to help these girls out or help prevent the teen pregnancies. Whose job is it to parent?

I sat in a meeting today with a student, two other teachers and the parent. The student has been sleepy in class. When questioned about it, he admitted to not getting much sleep. Mom chimes in (like she is proud of herself) stating he has a bedtime. 11:00. 11:00???!!! At 13 years of age, he needs as much sleep as a toddler! AND she talked about how he liked to stay up playing Modern Warfare. REALLY??? So, you let him stay up, and you let him play violent video games. When WE presented her with the things happening in school and the facts about how much sleep he needs, she decided to change his bedtime. Whose job is it to parent?

My experience with students has been wide and varied. I have had pre-teens who have to leave school to go straight home and take care of younger siblings. I have had students with children who leave those children with their parents while they go off and do their thing. I have had students being raised by grandparents. I have had students whose "job" it is to take their younger siblings to ball games and practices. Whose job is it to parent?

I am by no means trying to say I am perfect, nor a perfect parent. I make mistakes. I yell when I shouldn't. I lose my temper. I don't ALWAYS make sure my kids have a fruit or vegetable at every meal. We have sugar in the house. But, I also limit their sweets, don't allow my kids to have soda very often, and monitor their TV and internet use. I spend time with my kids. I read what they read, I watch what they watch. I talk to them, I listen to them. Why do I do this? I do it in the hopes that one day, they will NEVER have to ask me, "Whose job was it to parent?"

Friends

There is a saying that goes, "some friends are in your life for a reason, some for a season." To be perfectly honest, I don't want to be nor to have the "season". For a large part of my early life, it was always a season. Being a "brat", I made and lost friends every two to three years. There would be the period where you would write (letters, the old fashioned kind), MAYBE call, if it wasn't outrageously expensive, and promise to keep in touch. It would last for a couple of months before tapering off and new friends being the old friends and then becoming the lost friends. I don't want that in my life, anymore.

I have made and lost some amazing friends in my life. I don't want to lose any of the people I have in my life now! They are some of the strongest, sweetest, most loyal, most amazing people I could ever hope to surround myself with. I think that was the biggest factor that would have held me in Cleveland. Sometimes I get REALLY sad about having moved away from them. I am so thankful that this is an age where we can keep in touch so easily! However, it does still pain me, on occasion, when I don't have them to wrap my arms around when they are hurting or when I am lonely or hurting.

Now, when I make new friends, I try to be the kind of person they would want for a reason. I don't want to have to drop out of a person's life or to have that person want to drop out of mine. I want permanence in relationships. I need that. I like having people I know I can trust and I know will be there for me, whether in person or in spirit. I hope I am that to the people in my life. I hope they know they can count on me whether in person or in spirit, I want to be there for my friends like so many of them have been there for me. I want and want to be thick, thin, and forever friends with the people in my life. It may seem unrealistic to some, but, it is an earnest desire of mine. I have always craved permanence in relationships and I am so thankful to have finally found it with so many wonderful people!

My Daughter II

My little girl is growing up so fast! I look at her and I wonder what happened??? That little Shirley Temple-curled angel is changing by the day! She is maturing and growing. She likes to help out in the kitchen, but, not so much with the dishes LOL!

I worried about the move and how it would affect all of the children. Of the four, I was least worried about my Abbi. She has been a social child from birth, I think! Her big blue (at the time) eyes stayed open and she absorbed everything! She watched everybody, too! She could track and follow practically from birth because she was fascinated by people.

She is still fascinated by people. She will get to know a person quickly and really is an excellent judge of character. You will know quickly whether she likes you or not! Abbi likes you, it is like a gift. I have seen grown men try very hard to get her to pay them attention. I have been told she is a ball of sunshine when she walks into a room. She has a smile that goes across her whole face!

For Abbi, moving to Iowa was no big deal. She was understandably sad about leaving her friends that she had known for years. One friend from the time she was 3 years old. Many who she had been in school with her whole life. However, she had NO trouble making new friends. She came home after school started and was immediately talking about all of her new friends.

We met with her teacher and discovered even more. She told us one would never know that Abbi had come from a different school, much less a different district or state! Abbi went into her new school and established herself. She became a leader and made friends. She is the same little girl she always was...just in a different place :)

Resolutions...

I have never really been one to make New Year's Resolutions. I often find it an exercise in folly. I don't want to make resolutions because, I know I will inevitably end up breaking them. So, why give myself cause to be disappointed in myself? I can usually find something about myself to be disappointed in without setting myself up for failure. No, I am not trying to be a downer or act like I am so inferior and the most disappointing person I know. I am just being realistic.

I sometimes wonder why other people make resolutions. I have seen people make them knowing they are unrealistic. It seems some people will make a resolution for the simple purpose of breaking it. For some, a resolution is a reason to fail. I don't like feeling like a failure.

Having said all of that, I have decided to make some resolutions this year. It may once again be an exercise in folly, however, maybe by putting it out here in such a public forum, I will have more incentive to stick with it. There are just a few things I want to do and would like to be held accountable for these things.

1) I want to keep in even better touch with important people in my life. I need to get better about sending emails, cards, facebook messages, text messages, and making phone calls. I resolve to contact, personally, at least one different person per week to check up on that person or fill that person in on what is happening with us.

2) I want to keep up with my blog better. I have had a number of people tell me they enjoy it, but, I know I am not doing it often enough. I resolve to add at least one recipe, coupon tip, or entry per week.

3) I really do want to get in better shape. We bought a Wii Fit for the kids. I have enjoyed the few times I worked out on it, but, it is a BUTT kicker! However, nothing comes without sacrifice. I have never really been willing or dedicated enough to make that sacrifice. I resolve to do 30 minutes at least 5 times a week, cook healthier at home, and eat better at work.

4) I want to be a steward of what God has given me. I don't simply mean money, here. I really mean more along the lines of the talents He has given me. I have struggled with the whole "Preacher's Wife" persona. I am NOT musically gifted. I can't play an instrument and I can't sing. It always makes me feel bad when someone says something to Chris about preaching for them and immediately turns to me and asks if I sing. Sorry. God did not gift me in that way. However, I do have talents that I can hone and use better. I need to improve my Spanish speaking ability. I want to help Chris reach out to people in the community so we can start building a foundation for our ministry. I resolve to be intentional in enhancing the gifts I do have, such as studying Spanish and meeting new people.

I hope I can keep up with these four things. I really feel like I will be happier and healthier this year if I can stick with it and make it work for me. Pray for me!