The Most Humbling Gift

Christmas is always a fun time for teachers. The kids are wild. They are always sneaking candy into their mouths and there is so much excitement in the air. I love being a teacher around Christmas time. It can be thoroughly exhausting, though.

Kids love to give teachers presents. I will have students ask me very pointed questions about my favorite foods, colors, fragrances, etc. They start asking in November and will even ask what I WANT them to give me. I honestly hate that question. I hate when they ask me "what do you like?" I never want to answer that question because it makes me feel as if I am asking for gifts.

This year was no different. I took a picture of my desk and sent it to Mama. She said she was "coming out of retirement to be a teacher". It made me laugh. I got candy, homemade gifts, a purse, and a keychain made into a high-heeled shoe. I also received a gift that humbled me more than any gift I have ever received in my life.

I have a student who I have had a hard time with this year. I made a snap judgement and decided she was stubborn and lazy. I knew she had a very poor home situation. However, she seemed to defy me at every turn. It was particularly difficult when I wanted her to do classwork I knew she was capable of. This girl came from a family that was destitute. The worst home situation I have ever seen in my ten years as an educator and I have seen some bad ones.

I made a conscious choice to soften up and work with her. I have tried to just LISTEN to her when she has excuses. It has NOT been easy. I still want to be tough and firm and FORCE her to do her schoolwork. I have wanted her to see that an education is the ONLY way she will be able to change her situation when she is old enough to do something about it. However, I have pulled back and tried very hard to just get her to do the work. We will work toward what I know she is capable of, later.

After a month or so, she started to come around. She would stop and talk to me in the hall. She drew pictures for me to post with the ones I post from other kids. She has started turning in more assignments. I have discovered that the work isn't as satisfying to me as seeing her start to thrive some. Seeing her smile as she walks down the hall and sees me standing outside my room.

As I sat at my desk on the last day before Christmas, gifts starting coming in. My desk started piling up with all the wonderful goodies and she came in. She walked up and plunked something down on my desk. It was wrapped in paper that had been reused. It was heavy and oddly shaped. I opened the paper on top a little to find a bottle of perfume. The lid was missing. The perfume bottle was only about 3/4 of the way full and the top was dusty. I nearly cried.

Of the twenty-odd gifts I received this year for Christmas from students, it is my favorite. It has a place on the mantle so I can see it all the time. I didn't even take all of the paper off of it. I want to be able to see it often as a reminder. I want to be reminded to stay humble and never, EVER make a snap judgement about a student again. I may never be able to reach every student, but that little bottle will be a constant reminder to keep trying.

Why Do You Work?

I love it when people learn that I have four kids and assume I stay home. They always look so shocked when they find out I work full-time. Occasionally, I get the snide little attitude of being a teacher so I can stay home with the kids. I will admit, that did factor into my decision to be a teacher, but, the main reason I did it is because I knew I would be good at it.

I didn't get into teaching for money or fame. I didn't do it so I could have Christmas break, Spring break, Summer vacation or snow days. I did it because I knew I could combine two things I really enjoyed, science and young minds. I try to engage those minds as often and in as many ways as I can. It isn't always easy. A sick day isn't really a sick day. If I am home sick, I still check my email and even grade papers if I have them with me. And, I am ALWAYS thinking of lesson plans or new ways to teach things.

Here is what I don't get. I don't understand why some people are in their current jobs. I see facebook statuses about how much they dread going in. I see them complain about coworkers or even bosses. I see them say how much they "hate that place". I see how they don't want to be there when they text it in from their phones. Why do you do it? It really makes me wonder why they work the jobs they do when the people are in trained, well-paying positions that they had to go to school for a few years to be able to do.

I won't lie to anyone and say every single day I work is a piece of cake and I never have any problems. You would know I am lying! However, if you look hard enough, usually, the good will outweigh the bad anywhere you are. You just have to be willing to let go of the negative and look for the positive. That is not always an easy thing to do. I realize many people are in high-stress jobs. My job can be very stressful. However, I have many more days where I feel like I haven't even been to work! It's because I enjoy what I do.

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that people have to pay their bills and sometimes, you gotta take what you get. I am talking more along the lines of professionals. If you are educated enough and smart enough to have a job as a professional, I would think you could easily find a job you would prefer to be working. If you are struggling in that area, at least try to find SOMETHING enjoyable about your job. I feel sorry for people who can't do that. I wouldn't want to be that miserable all the time. If nothing else, be happy there is a paycheck involved! :)

Prayer in Schools

I have heard many different comments about how we "need prayer in schools." I am going to disagree with that statement. I am sure that may come as a shock to some and nowhere near a surprise to others. I am equally sure there are plenty who have no opinion on this topic and could care less. That's ok, too. You don't have to read on ;)

Why do I disagree with prayer in schools? Well, for one thing, I think it should be taken care of at home. If you want your child to be praying in school, teach that child to pray at home. Train up a child in the way he should go and he will never depart from it. Train up means from infancy...not from Kindergarten on.

In my job, I am expected to fill MANY roles. I am an advisor, a nurse, a counselor, a teacher, and occasionally, a warden...just to name a few. I have heard it said, by parents, that when their child is in school, it is the teacher's job to teach the child EVERYTHING. By EVERYTHING, I mean the subjects in school, manners, responsibility, organization, and a host of other things. I honestly feel sometimes that some parents can't wait for their child to turn 5 so they can have free babysitting.

Not only do they expect us to do this, we teachers have many, many people saying that we aren't doing our jobs. We get requests from parents wanting US to explain why the child did poorly on a paper or failed a test. We are asked to monitor a child's health problems, eating habits, allergies, and behavior disorders. On top of this, you are asking me to be their spiritual leader, as well?

I can do that. I would gladly do that. However, it isn't right for me to do that. It's not my job to do that. It's YOURS, the parent. What happens when you ask me to lead prayer in school and I don't pray the way you expect me to? I already get the emails and phone calls about why I don't teach the way you were taught. I get the emails about why your child doesn't bring home a text book every night. Are you reading the Bible to your child every night?

If we allowed prayer back into schools, whose job would it be to monitor who was praying and who was not? We have freedom OF religion. That means that the different denominations and religions are all allowed to worship in individual ways. It means that I CAN NOT, by law, impose MY way of praying on anybody else. So, I say again, want prayer in schools? Don't drop your kid off at Sunday School on Sunday and Wednesday night youth group and expect everything to be ok. Want prayer in schools? Teach your child to pray. The rest will follow...

Today

Ten years already. I have tried to stay away from cliche posts and wallowing in the significance of today, but, I find I just can't. One reason I can't is because of a status that was pointed out to me earlier today. I keep going back to that and wondering how a person can be so unmoved by something so tragic.

This person intimated that 9/11/2001 didn't change him. That it didn't change anyone and we are all being fake by being affected by the event and the anniversary. I must say, I find that pretty callous. I agree he is entitled to his opinion. We all are. However, my opinion is, he is wrong.

Immediately after the event, I was affected. I had plans to fly from Atlanta to Denver two days following. I didn't know if I would get to go or not. I had serious doubts about bringing another child into the world. My children (three of them at the time) were two, two and seven months. I didn't have a clue what kind of world they would grow up in. I was nervous and scared about what they would have to face growing up. I remember thinking how relieved I was that Daddy had retired from the military and worrying about the ones I knew still doing their duty to country. I worried that Daddy would be called back up, anyway. He wasn't even 50 at the time!

I lost a job due to 9/11. How? Company stock dropped because people were more interested in their safety than the products we sold. Not to mention that we had a business in one of the towers. I was a WELL-paid employee and more recently employed than others. Last in, first out. Unfair? Maybe, but, I ended up going back to school for my Master's in Teaching. However, that is another story...

Today, ten years later, I am still affected. One of the first things I thought of this morning was a dear friend of mine. She missed working in the towers that day. Had she not, I might not have met my dear friend. You see, I didn't know her then. I am so thankful I know her, now. Tried to fly anywhere lately? I have. Before 9/11, nobody would have thought to remove their SHOES to be SCANNED before getting on a plane. All liquids can only be a certain size, you can only carry so many bottles, don't even think about trying to take a razor on the plane.

Do I live every day like it is 9/11? No. Just like I don't live every day as if it is my birthday or anniversary. I don't live every day as if it is the day we lost my Daddy, but, that doesn't stop me from thinking about him often. So, while our day-to-day activities may not have changed drastically, we are all still affected in some way. As it is with my Daddy, there are things that happen that make me think about that tragic day on other days of the year. I will NEVER get some of those images out of my head. And, to be honest, I don't want to.

We, as a nation, had become complacent and cocky. We had an attitude of invincibility that reminds me so much of the teenagers I teach. When you think about world civilizations, we ARE the teenagers. Just as it is always tragic to lose a young person too early in life, it was tragic to have our eyes opened to our own vulnerability. If nothing else, THAT should have affected and changed everyone who saw the events of that day.

Why Back to School is Hard for Me...

There is only one reason why I dislike being a teacher. My children. It is very hard to be a teaching parent, sometimes. I have never taken my children to school on their first day of school and that kind of stinks. It made me really sad this morning when I realized that my baby boy is going into the second grade and the only times I have ever taken him to school or picked him up have been when I was out for a sick day or we had a different Spring Break.

I rarely get to attend parent/teacher conferences. I am usually at work talking to other parents. I get to know my children’s teachers through email. I have met support staff at my kids’ schools in places like Wal-Mart or the pool because I don’t often get to be in their schools. This morning, I was almost in tears wishing I could be home when my kids get there today with some warm chocolate chip cookies and milk waiting for them. That will most likely never be.

Now, don’t get me wrong. ANYONE who knows me KNOWS how much I love being a teacher and how much I love my kids. My kids are a huge reason why I AM a teacher. I do get holidays and most school breaks off with them. We get to hang out and spend time together and do all sorts of fun stuff. However, it can be difficult to be unable to be there with my darlings when they are having their first days. Today, for example, I had to leave before all four children left for school. I also will not be home for several hours after them due to Open House at my school. I will miss hearing how the first day went until this evening and that kind of hurts.

Now, would I change it? No. The kids are used to it and it probably doesn’t bother them as much as it bothers me. They do tend to get upset when I can’t go on field trips. That hurts sometimes. I don’t usually get to help out when they have days for parents to come to school. I send baked goods or money as often as I can, but, sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough. I love my children and I love my job. I guess, in the end, I face the same dilemma as most working moms. It just hits me a little bit more in the face because of my chosen profession. :)

Stumbling Blocks

Ok. This is a HUGE issue for some people in the Christian community. I honestly hadn't really thought anything much about it until recently. There was a furor years ago, it died down, only to be rekindled with the most recent and last movie in the Harry Potter series.

My kids like Harry Potter and so do I. I have read all of the books. My oldest two sons have read all of the books. My youngest son is just beginning to read the books. Here is something some people don't think about. They READ the books. They don't BELIEVE the books. Why did I read the books? To protect my children. I knew that they would be exposed in some way. The movies are on TV all the time. What happens if I leave them with a sitter who lets them watch it? Who is to blame when they have questions I can't answer? Me. At least with the way I have done it, I can CONTROL the situation.

I read the books so I could discuss them with my kids. We talked about how fiction and fantasy are different from the real world. We discussed how Christians don't use magic nor do we believe in magic. They also know that going to see a "magician" means sleight of hand and illusions. NOT casting spells and creating potions. They know that there are people who do those things and believe in it. They also know, without a doubt, that to do so is sin. We also discussed that there is no such thing as "white" magic or "good" magic. So, why would I deliberately expose them to this fantasy world? Because it is FANTASY. Plain and simple. It is adventure, it is interesting, it is exciting, and it is fun. I also am quite often liable to read anything that is causing controversy in order to be able to knowledgeably speak from either side of the issue.

I am hearing all kinds of things from people who disagree with this point of view. I am ok with people who disagree. If we all agreed on everything, life would be boring. However, what I am not ok with is people who take things out of context and try to impose their opinions on me and my beliefs. I will listen to anyone's side of an issue presented respectfully and in love. I will not be told that I didn't "find God right the first time so I need to try again" because I have read something I find amusing. I also disagree with people who do not verify their facts before running off at the mouth. I have seen comments such as "drinking blood is an abomination, a sin worthy of hell!" Ummm, does that even APPLY to unicorns? They are fictional, right?

Having said this, I must say, I would never want to be a stumbling block. We are admonished in Philippians 2:12 to "work out your salvation with fear and trembling" and in v.13 "For it is GOD who works in you to will and act in order to fulfill his good purpose." My salvation does not depend on someone else's convictions. My salvation depends on MY relationship with God. I HAVE worked this out. I know without a doubt that this issue does not affect my salvation nor my relationship with God, nor my children's. I Corinthians 8:9 says, " Be careful, however, that the exercise of your rights does not become a stumbling block to the weak." I have two perspectives on this.

The first one that sticks in my head is the way some Christians come across as, "I have all the answers, you are wrong, if you do this, you will go to hell." When you come at an individual, particularly a person who is not strong in such a manner, you can easily cause that person to turn away. By making someone feel as if the only way to God is to give up EVERYTHING that can be enjoyable causes people to not want to have a relationship with God. By the same token, if my watching Harry Potter (or Lord of the Rings, or Bewitched, or Chronicles of Narnia) causes a weak person to stumble, it is my duty to NOT talk about, watch, read, or embrace those things with that person. There again, we lead to working out our own salvations.

Do I expect everyone to agree with me? No. If you are offended or feel that these books, movies, stories are not for you. I am totally ok with that. I would never presume to tell a person that he or she HAD to agree with me because this is the way God and I see it. I would be willing to explain my point of view, however, many people will shut down and shut off their ears. Liking fantasy does not make me a bad person. It makes me different, even interesting to some. I will not apologize for being confident enough in who I am and in my relationship with God that I can and have seen and read something that is a pure work of fiction.

Sports Parents

After last night, I just HAD to make this post. I love being a sports mom. I really enjoy watching my kids play and seeing how they have improved year after year. It is amazing to me to watch them grow and change. Sometimes it is funny because recent growth spurts make them seem awkward until the get used to it.

I am an INTENSE mom. I watch everything my kids do. I offer helpful suggestions. I praise good work. I can whistle (loudly) through my teeth. If I see one of my children goofing off or not paying attention, I whistle. They KNOW that whistle. One can see their heads snap up and look straight at me. I point, they nod, then get into position. Other parents have learned my method and it doesn't even phase them. They do, however, look to see which kid is getting corrected. It is especially useful with my older two. They always play on the same team, so, sometimes, BOTH heads snap up! It also helps when one is hit by a pitch, receives a hard tackle, or fouled in basketball. I whistle, the child looks, I raise an eyebrow or do a thumbs up and the child either gives me a thumbs up, nods, or shakes the head. Silent communication from the playing field. They ALWAYS know Mama is watching and paying attention.

What I don't like about being a sports parent is other sports parents. I don't mean the ones like me. I mean the ones who have to coach EVERY child on the team from their camp chairs or the bleachers. I mean the ones who scream at their kids for a bad play or striking out. I am talking about the ones who will stretch or break rules just to WIN. The ones who try to live vicariously through their children. THOSE parents make angry. You cannot expect a 12-year-old boy to hit like Babe Ruth! A ten-year-old girl is NOT normally going to hit a home run. A seven-year-old boy is NOT going to catch every fly ball hit near him.

The kids need to have fun. Intensity and competitiveness comes later. I will admit that there is quite a big difference watching my older two compared to my younger two. They are reaching an age where they are hard on themselves and want to win every game. That is ok with me. I want them to WANT to be good at what they do. I don't want them to think that they have to do it for me or for their daddy.

Last night was a prime example of why I don't like other sports parents. Many of these people coach. I am glad for that. I don't think I could do it. I truly don't think I have the skill to do it. However, the cocky, cheating coaches are the ones that irritate me. At my daughter's game, the other team came out with attitude. I know that may sound silly to some, but, it is true. You can see it in the arrogance of the coach and the way he talks to his team. It was also in the way he showed his team how to rejoice over the missteps of ours. He also started off the game in my bad graces by saying his team hadn't lost a game. Which was not true. They lost to us. Our girls were the only undefeated team this season. Why did he say this? So they could be the home team and have last at bat.

I watched the girls on the other team. They were so VERY hard on themselves. One of their pitchers was in tears because of the runs she had allowed. I lay all of this on her parents and her coach. I was turned off immediately because of how he questioned the rules. He then argued with a run that we got because our girl was hit by the ball thanks to one of his girls. There was no one keeping the scoreboard. I heard him say to the umpire at the end of one inning, "I don't know, we have eight or NINE, I think." The score was 8-5. He knew this, he was just trying to pad his lead. Our girls scored two and held them in the bottom of the next inning.

The top of the last inning comes up. I leaned over to Chris and said, "Watch, he's going to try to call time on the game." Sure enough. He got his girls in the dugout and had them start lining up like they were going to shake hands. Thankfully, the umpire, though he was but a 14-year-old kid, told him there was one inning to go after he said, "Isn't that time?" Happily, our girls came back, scored 9 runs and won the game 16-8 by holding the other team in the bottom of the last inning. I am VERY proud of how gracious our girls were. They cheered for the other girls, they clapped for them as they were handed their medals for second place, and showed NO attitude.

These types of coaches are the ones who ruin sports for kids. By not teaching them to be gracious, good sports, the kids learn ugliness. They feel at an early age that they must win at all costs or they feel like failures. They don't learn to ENJOY what they are doing for fear of some type of retribution for failure, whether it be verbal or in the form of extra practices, running, etc. We have been fairly lucky with our kids coaches. So far, there has only been ONE I have come close to having words with and it was a good thing I missed one game, in particular! However, should the day come where I see a coach causing my kids to cry, hate what they are doing, or learn to cheat, you better believe MAMA will make sure Coach is informed...