A Fire

My husband and my mother accuse me of being a fire bug. I will get a fire started in the fireplace and keep it going. I have to make myself leave it alone sometimes because of how much I enjoy it. I absolutely love a wood fire in a fireplace. I have loved wood fire for a very long time.

My first experience with a wood fire was as a very young girl. I was probably three or four years old. My grandparents had a wood heater. I loved watching my Papaw build a fire in his wood heater. I just thought it was amazing to watch the wood catch and burn. After that, Daddy went back into the military and we started moving around again. I missed that fire.

Jump ahead about 12 years. My parents decided they didn't like paying high gas bills and so they bought a wood heater for our house in Georgia. I was an older teenager and still loved a fire. I would play with candles and make wax figures. I would light three or four of them and mess with them while they burned, so a wood heater was just another excuse for me to play with fire some more.

I would chop wood, stack wood, and build fires. I learned how to start a fire with a little kindling and stack the wood just right. I learned how to make it so that the fire would burn all night and give off heat for the whole house. I learned how to stack the dryer wood on bottom so the green wood could burn longer.

I now have a wood burning fireplace. This is the second house we have lived in with a fireplace. A fireplace makes me happy. I don't know why. It just does. There is something homey and cozy and earthy about having a fire in the fireplace. I think the real thing going on with me and fire is that I was born in the wrong era. I may have to write a blog on that...

Whose Job is it to Parent?

I am going to have to go on a rant here. I am so frustrated with some of the things I am seeing lately. I posted on my facebook about some students at a high school. Some 90 girls were pregnant or had had a child in the last month. And, the SCHOOL was scrambling to fix the problem. They were the ones looking into things to do to help these girls out or help prevent the teen pregnancies. Whose job is it to parent?

I sat in a meeting today with a student, two other teachers and the parent. The student has been sleepy in class. When questioned about it, he admitted to not getting much sleep. Mom chimes in (like she is proud of herself) stating he has a bedtime. 11:00. 11:00???!!! At 13 years of age, he needs as much sleep as a toddler! AND she talked about how he liked to stay up playing Modern Warfare. REALLY??? So, you let him stay up, and you let him play violent video games. When WE presented her with the things happening in school and the facts about how much sleep he needs, she decided to change his bedtime. Whose job is it to parent?

My experience with students has been wide and varied. I have had pre-teens who have to leave school to go straight home and take care of younger siblings. I have had students with children who leave those children with their parents while they go off and do their thing. I have had students being raised by grandparents. I have had students whose "job" it is to take their younger siblings to ball games and practices. Whose job is it to parent?

I am by no means trying to say I am perfect, nor a perfect parent. I make mistakes. I yell when I shouldn't. I lose my temper. I don't ALWAYS make sure my kids have a fruit or vegetable at every meal. We have sugar in the house. But, I also limit their sweets, don't allow my kids to have soda very often, and monitor their TV and internet use. I spend time with my kids. I read what they read, I watch what they watch. I talk to them, I listen to them. Why do I do this? I do it in the hopes that one day, they will NEVER have to ask me, "Whose job was it to parent?"

Friends

There is a saying that goes, "some friends are in your life for a reason, some for a season." To be perfectly honest, I don't want to be nor to have the "season". For a large part of my early life, it was always a season. Being a "brat", I made and lost friends every two to three years. There would be the period where you would write (letters, the old fashioned kind), MAYBE call, if it wasn't outrageously expensive, and promise to keep in touch. It would last for a couple of months before tapering off and new friends being the old friends and then becoming the lost friends. I don't want that in my life, anymore.

I have made and lost some amazing friends in my life. I don't want to lose any of the people I have in my life now! They are some of the strongest, sweetest, most loyal, most amazing people I could ever hope to surround myself with. I think that was the biggest factor that would have held me in Cleveland. Sometimes I get REALLY sad about having moved away from them. I am so thankful that this is an age where we can keep in touch so easily! However, it does still pain me, on occasion, when I don't have them to wrap my arms around when they are hurting or when I am lonely or hurting.

Now, when I make new friends, I try to be the kind of person they would want for a reason. I don't want to have to drop out of a person's life or to have that person want to drop out of mine. I want permanence in relationships. I need that. I like having people I know I can trust and I know will be there for me, whether in person or in spirit. I hope I am that to the people in my life. I hope they know they can count on me whether in person or in spirit, I want to be there for my friends like so many of them have been there for me. I want and want to be thick, thin, and forever friends with the people in my life. It may seem unrealistic to some, but, it is an earnest desire of mine. I have always craved permanence in relationships and I am so thankful to have finally found it with so many wonderful people!

My Daughter II

My little girl is growing up so fast! I look at her and I wonder what happened??? That little Shirley Temple-curled angel is changing by the day! She is maturing and growing. She likes to help out in the kitchen, but, not so much with the dishes LOL!

I worried about the move and how it would affect all of the children. Of the four, I was least worried about my Abbi. She has been a social child from birth, I think! Her big blue (at the time) eyes stayed open and she absorbed everything! She watched everybody, too! She could track and follow practically from birth because she was fascinated by people.

She is still fascinated by people. She will get to know a person quickly and really is an excellent judge of character. You will know quickly whether she likes you or not! Abbi likes you, it is like a gift. I have seen grown men try very hard to get her to pay them attention. I have been told she is a ball of sunshine when she walks into a room. She has a smile that goes across her whole face!

For Abbi, moving to Iowa was no big deal. She was understandably sad about leaving her friends that she had known for years. One friend from the time she was 3 years old. Many who she had been in school with her whole life. However, she had NO trouble making new friends. She came home after school started and was immediately talking about all of her new friends.

We met with her teacher and discovered even more. She told us one would never know that Abbi had come from a different school, much less a different district or state! Abbi went into her new school and established herself. She became a leader and made friends. She is the same little girl she always was...just in a different place :)

Resolutions...

I have never really been one to make New Year's Resolutions. I often find it an exercise in folly. I don't want to make resolutions because, I know I will inevitably end up breaking them. So, why give myself cause to be disappointed in myself? I can usually find something about myself to be disappointed in without setting myself up for failure. No, I am not trying to be a downer or act like I am so inferior and the most disappointing person I know. I am just being realistic.

I sometimes wonder why other people make resolutions. I have seen people make them knowing they are unrealistic. It seems some people will make a resolution for the simple purpose of breaking it. For some, a resolution is a reason to fail. I don't like feeling like a failure.

Having said all of that, I have decided to make some resolutions this year. It may once again be an exercise in folly, however, maybe by putting it out here in such a public forum, I will have more incentive to stick with it. There are just a few things I want to do and would like to be held accountable for these things.

1) I want to keep in even better touch with important people in my life. I need to get better about sending emails, cards, facebook messages, text messages, and making phone calls. I resolve to contact, personally, at least one different person per week to check up on that person or fill that person in on what is happening with us.

2) I want to keep up with my blog better. I have had a number of people tell me they enjoy it, but, I know I am not doing it often enough. I resolve to add at least one recipe, coupon tip, or entry per week.

3) I really do want to get in better shape. We bought a Wii Fit for the kids. I have enjoyed the few times I worked out on it, but, it is a BUTT kicker! However, nothing comes without sacrifice. I have never really been willing or dedicated enough to make that sacrifice. I resolve to do 30 minutes at least 5 times a week, cook healthier at home, and eat better at work.

4) I want to be a steward of what God has given me. I don't simply mean money, here. I really mean more along the lines of the talents He has given me. I have struggled with the whole "Preacher's Wife" persona. I am NOT musically gifted. I can't play an instrument and I can't sing. It always makes me feel bad when someone says something to Chris about preaching for them and immediately turns to me and asks if I sing. Sorry. God did not gift me in that way. However, I do have talents that I can hone and use better. I need to improve my Spanish speaking ability. I want to help Chris reach out to people in the community so we can start building a foundation for our ministry. I resolve to be intentional in enhancing the gifts I do have, such as studying Spanish and meeting new people.

I hope I can keep up with these four things. I really feel like I will be happier and healthier this year if I can stick with it and make it work for me. Pray for me!

A Journey

This Christmas has been a journey for me in more ways than one. We took the entire break and drove down to be with family. We had to carefully schedule our days to maximize time with each side of the family AND have time with friends. I have really struggled lately with trying to figure out where I belong.

I know I don't belong in the town I went to high school in. I still have loved ones and some wonderful friends there. I have some of my longest standing friends there, but, it doesn't feel like home. I truly just feel like a visitor, even though, I could tell you where everything is and where everyone still lives.

We then went to another side of Georgia. I know this isn't my home because I have never lived there. We have been lovingly invited several times, but, we don't belong there. It is always nice to visit and see the family we have there, however.

After that visit, we went back to the town we spent our entire married life in. We were welcomed back with open arms by some more recently made lifelong friends. However, there were so many changes in just six months, I was astounded. It kind of felt like home, but, it was more of a "this is where I came from" feeling. I am very excited to be here and get to see the friends and family we left in this town. I am happy for the love we have been shown since we have been here. It lets me know, we belonged when we were here.

The last leg of our journey begins in about a day and a half. I can honestly say, I am ready. I am no longer struggling with where I belong. I know where I belong. I belong with my family, wherever it is. I belong where God has placed us. I belong where I am. I am making a difference where I am. I am making new friends where I am. I am building new relationships where I am. Will they take the place of the old differences, friends, and relationships? NEVER! I have just been given a wonderful opportunity to replay things I have done before in a new setting. :)

'Tis the Season...

For me, it is the season of rush around and try to get everything done! Oh my goodness! I do, truly, love the holidays, but, they can be stressful. We get started right after Thanksgiving getting ready for...not Christmas...BIRTHDAYS!!! Nathan and Matthew were born on December 8th after 19 hours of labor and THEN a C-section. They got to come home from the hospital on December 11th...just in time for their Daddy's birthday on the 12th.

I have to plan a birthday party, get birthday presents, and figure out how to treat my husband well for his birthday, also. It gets a little stressful! I try to do it all with a smile. The boys just had a sleepover with some of the new friends they have made here in Ames. They invited six boys. Four were able to come. I limited them this year. Last year, we had a dozen boys. It was still exhausting! I usually plan their birthday for the weekend before their birthday so, I don't have to overlap theirs with his.

For Chris, I usually try to either take him out to dinner, or fix him dinner at home with the kids and some of his favorite goodies. Of course, there are presents for Daddy, too. I refuse to wrap any birthday presents in red and green paper. There are no Santas on the boys gifts. I want their birthdays to be distinct from Christmas.

I established ground rules years ago for my December birthday people. I said, first of all, there are TWO children, they get TWO presents. Second, their birthday is in December, it is a BIRTHDAY, not Christmas. If their birthday was in July, they would get presents in December and July. The get two DIFFERENT presents in December. I don't like combination birthday/Christmas presents. That seems so unfair to me. I try to abide by that for Chris, too. I am sure there are some people who would wonder why it is a big deal, but, to me, it is. I want them to have separate, unique experiences.

This is the first year our tree has been up by the first of December. I told Chris when the boys were little that I would not put a tree up until after their birthday. I didn't want Christmas to come first. I told him that when they asked we would do it. They asked this year. They even decorated it themselves. My little boys are growing up.