An Open Letter to ALL Iowa Legislators

Dear Senator

I teach multiple science classes at Boone High School. I live in Ames and my children attend Ames Schools. No school funding increase means my science classes are larger, I have to make materials stretch even further, and I have to spend less time allowing my students to explore. Science is NOT a subject one simply learns. It is a subject one DOES. Less funding means we do less. Doing less loses students. Their interest wanes. If we want our students to become world leaders through a STEM education, it must be funded on every level. Our students cannot compete globally if schools are wrecked financially. The World Class Education we are reaching for and trying to compete for to allow our students to have will never come to fruition if our schools are not funded and supported by our state. 

It seems to me that you spent more time on school start dates than you have on school funding. Is a fair really that important? I understand it brings revenue. Changing the start date of schools really isn’t going to bring in more revenue. The people who choose not to attend will still choose not to attend. Most families prefer to go on a weekend day, as it helps keep their children on a more routine schedule. Is potential revenue from a fair really more important than students having current textbooks and access to materials for their classes? Are you going to put that extra revenue towards schools as you used this as your excuse to change the start dates?

I have a question for you. Why is it necessary to have an $718,000,000 surplus/emergency fund? I agree we need an emergency fund. Natural disasters happen. However, nearly a billion dollars sitting in your pockets while students have to SHARE textbooks is asinine. A mere five percent of this “surplus” would cover what schools need.

So many of my coworkers and the educators of my children take summer jobs to help make ends meet. I, myself, have done it many summers while my children were home. Why do we do that? It’s not because the pay isn’t enough. It’s because the school funding isn’t enough. We buy many of our own supplies as it is. We feed children from our own pockets. If you take away all of our funding, we will have to purchase more supplies in addition to the food many of us keep in our classrooms.

As a teacher in Boone Schools and a citizen of Ames, I implore you to take a serious look at the school funding issue presently in front of you. Currently, because of your partisan, contentious arguments (also known as a pissing contest) with each other, students, schools, and school personnel are bowing under the pressure of a zero percent increase. Did you take a raise this year? Was it your education that helped you to get into the position you currently hold? Or did you just have the “charisma” and “luck” to get elected?

You have two options at this point. You can fund schools, allow our children to continue to grow, give them the opportunities they need in order to become globally competitive, and allow us to encourage their further interest in education. OR, you can continue to ignore the fact that our schools need more funding and push Iowa further down on the list of states with well-funded and well educated students who will make an impact in their communities, their state and the world. The choice is yours.

Respectfully,

Shannon Lumley

Fat, Flawed, Forties, and Fabulous

I often never know where I'm going to go once I get started on a blog post. I usually just let my fingers express what my brain is trying to say. I've had something rolling around in my head for a while trying to get out, so, I'm going to put it here. I have been seeing a lot of things lately about weight loss and weight gain. But, what I'm seeing is, deep-down, about so much more than weight. For me, bottom line, the issue is about acceptance. It's about accepting ourselves, accepting others, and accepting life for what it is and what we make of it.

I never struggled with my weight. I gained the "Freshman Fifteen". No big deal. I was pretty skinny. I got married and got pregnant right away. Twins! What a blessing! I didn't know that twins would take all 5'3" of me and twist and turn and pull and stretch until certain parts never resembled the girl/woman who first got married and pregnant. Though the boys were born at 37 weeks, I measured 48 weeks. Put in other terms, HUGE! It wasn't pregnancy weight that changed me. It was pregnancy skin. That skin even hung on the insides of my thighs where skin had been pulled UP to accommodate two rather large babies. But, that skin was the start of a downward spiral for me.

One of the first things my doctor told me was it would NEVER go away. It didn't matter if I did a million sit-ups a day, it was there to stay. No big deal. I wanted more kids and was too busy with two little ones to worry about it. Fast forward five years and there are two more. Four kids aged five and under. Drinking Dr. Pepper all day helped me have the energy I thought I needed. Eating became stress relief. It was a treat to have ice cream or sugary cereal once all four kids were down for the night. It was my down time. It was my de-stress time. It was my "fill in the skin that's stuck there because it's never going away, anyway" time.

It took a long time before I finally got sick of myself and what I looked like. I got tired of going to plus sizes. So, I decided, FOR ME to do something about it. That's where the problem lies for so many. My husband never ONCE criticized me for how much weight I had gained. He loved me for me and never pointed out I wasn't the same size I was when we married. He even said it was partially his fault because he wanted kids as much as I did. Once I started losing weight, it got easier as the time went by to keep doing it. I lost 50 pounds and thought it was great! Until, I started looking around me. DARN IT! There were STILL plenty of women smaller than me! I slowly gave up. I slowly got "too busy" to work out any more. I convinced myself "I'll never be small enough" and "without surgery to get rid of the skin, I'll always be a size or two larger."

This is where we, as women, totally screw up. We constantly compare ourselves to others. We are inundated with perfection. It's on TV.  I'll never forget a commercial for ham where these women are watching another woman eat. They are gasping and shocked that she's just eating the ham and one of them comments, "A perfect size SIX!" That suddenly became my goal. I truly believed a size six was THE perfect size.

Back to the perfection inundation. It's in magazines. It's in books."She's smaller, she's smarter, she's more successful, her house is more clean, her kids behave better", the list can go on and on. Then, we have the opposite. We have the, "at least I don't look like that, MY kids would never do that, my job makes more money, I get more recognition, I may be fat, but at least I'm a lot nicer than she is". Anyone identifying with me, yet?

Where did we go wrong? I honestly believe we went wrong when we let others dictate what can make us happy. It shouldn't matter if I'm overweight if I'm happy. It shouldn't matter if you sit in a cubicle all day or if you are center stage as long as you are happy. It shouldn't matter if someone makes more money if you're happy. It shouldn't matter if your kids are a little rambunctious and curious if you're happy.

My kids have ALWAYS been curious to the point of tearing things up just to put them back together. I cannot tell you the number of random screws and missing tools we've dealt with over the years. But, I currently have two considering careers in engineering. That makes me happy. I've been criticized for encouraging their curiosity and spontaneity.  It made me question myself. It made me question my ability to parent. But, it made my kids happy.

I'm now 41 years old. A size six isn't possible without surgery. I DON'T CARE. I've finally reached a point my my life where fit is better than fat. I can run up stairs. I rarely get really sick. I have skin and I have stretch marks from my boobs to my knees and I have four gorgeous, intelligent, caring children. I'd take every bit of the stretch marks and skin again. I struggled over the past couple of years with jealous over friends who got bypass surgery to lose weight. I was jealous because they lost a TON of weight in a hurry. Now, I'm thankful I never needed a surgery to lose weight.

Flawed is better than fake. I'm only me and as long as I'm the best me I can be, I'm happy. Do I screw up? Yep. But, when I ground my child from electronics, take the phone and laptop, leave the house forgetting about the kindle, only to come home and find that my child had placed it on top of the phone and laptop, my flaws seem to lessen. I've done my best to teach my children to be genuine and honest. Things like this tell me I've done my job, even when I feel like I'm failing miserably.

Forties and Fabulous are here. I've decided my gray hair is a badge. I've decided I still love my heels and my sparkle. I've decided the best thing I can do is not compare myself to anyone either in a good way or a bad way. The whole reason women are mean to each other is to feel better about themselves. I see it EVERY SINGLE DAY and I try to discourage it where I can. I want our next generation of ladies to embrace each other, to support each other, to help each other, and, most of all, to ACCEPT each other. The time of "me" needs to become the time of "us". Until we do this, it will always be a stunner when an "average" sized, "average" income, "average" WOMAN does something the media labels "special". Guess what, Ladies? We do it, every day. Now is the time to accept yourself. YOU are amazing.

Let Me Teach

CC, RTI, PLC, NCLB, NGSS…know what these acronyms mean? You do if you are an “educator”. Do you know why I say, “educator”? Because we aren’t allowed to teach any more. We are required to educate based on the newest set of letters to hit the academic spectrum. Don’t know what the newest letters are? Better figure it out because your administration does and they want you to follow it. Haven’t been to any meetings or trainings about it? Be prepared because it’s coming. Then, ask your school system…Let me teach.

Why is the failure of the American system of education always blamed on the teachers? Yet, successes are given to a set of letters if the school system follows it? “This is the newest and greatest thing we’ve ever seen!” Until the next one comes around… The only thing ALL of these programs are doing is causing teachers to have to take MORE time away from actual teaching to spend on learning about education and how to fix it. I’ll tell you how to “fix it”. Let me teach.

Why are we comparing ourselves to the Chinese? They are more successful. They have higher graduation rates. Their kids have higher scores. Would you like to know why? It starts at home. When a student “isn’t getting it”, the parents help out. They don’t go asking the teacher why the teacher failed. They EXPECT their student to do the work. They don’t wait until parent conferences to find out what’s going on. They talk to their kids. They set high expectations. They allow their teachers to be professionals and trust the teachers’ judgments. They let their teachers teach.

Our students are throwing around words like depression, bipolar, and even migraine like they are badges or, better yet, excuses.  “I didn’t do my homework last night because I was too depressed.” (Yes, that is an ACTUAL excuse I’ve heard) “I tried, but I didn’t understand it Can you help me?” This is a thing of the past. Parents are not holding their students responsible the way ours did, the way I try to with my own. We are expected to know every problem the students have and try to find a way to work around their issues within the classroom and their assignments. Some teachers are so scared of parents; they have become willing to do work for students. I have a better idea. Let me teach.

Post a Photo With No Makeup? Are You Nuts??!!

The no-makeup-selfie has hit the Internet. It’s in support of breast cancer awareness. I have to say, when it hit, I thought it was the best one, yet. Let’s face it, the whole bra color and where your purse is at the moment were really just a tease to men. That’s the reason I chose not to participate in either of those. It didn’t raise awareness; it just piqued curiosity and made men wonder what women were up to.

I recently read something posted by a breast cancer survivor. She states that it isn’t brave for women to go without makeup and post it for everyone to see. She sees it as a slap in the face of those who’ve survived cancer. I respectfully choose to disagree with her statements. I do see it as a form of support. By my way of thinking, most women who are going through chemotherapy, surgery, or radiation treatments probably don’t feel much like using their energy reserves to don their face covering on a daily basis. At least, that’s been my experience. Short of shaving our heads, going without makeup for something that can be seen over and over is a pretty solid way of saying we support you, Ladies.

While there are many women who go without makeup every day, there are those who cannot and will not go without. I am in love with my makeup. In my purse are seven different shades of lipstick, two shades of liner, and extra mascara. I do NOT like to be seen without my makeup. I have many friends who feel the same way. Southern women are even more likely to struggle with this form of support, which makes it so strong to me. We are taught to not even go to the store without lipstick and mascara at a minimum. It’s just a thing. A thing we do.

Most of us do not have first-hand experience going through cancer. We don’t know the pain felt and haven’t experienced the sickness women feel from all the chemicals being forced into their bodies. We can’t know the horror, fear, worry, stress, and despair women feel when they get that unwanted diagnosis. But, we do what we can. We support our friends through it. We hold their hands. We fix meals. We call, write, text, drop in, and cry with our sick sisters. We love, we show support, we raise funds, and, we post selfies with no makeup. You go, Ladies. Be brave and be bare.

#mcm and #wcw Can your relationship survive?

#mcm and #wcw are getting to be a pretty big deal. Why? I suppose I could understand if a person were single and wanted to post a picture of a celebrity. Or, a single person might actually want to get the attention of his or her TRUE crush and doesn’t know another way. That’s fine. That’s cool. But, WHY would a married or committed person feel the need to do it?

Ok. I get it. We all have our favorite actors and actresses. But, when does being a “fan” turn into “fanatic” (yes, I know that’s what “fan stands for, but, I feel that the connotation is different) or “fantasy”? When does it turn into disrespect? That’s the issue I have with it. If my husband posted a picture of a celebrity as his “woman crush”, I would be ticked. I’m pretty sure a lot of women would be. It has nothing to do with whether or not the person is attainable. It’s because, may women would say,  “I know what HE’S thinking about her when he posts that picture!” Really? Exactly what are YOU thinking when you do it?

I feel like it would be very disrespectful to my husband if I were to post a picture of another man as my “man crush”.  Am I going to cross paths with a celebrity one day who will confess his undying love? Heck no. That’s not the issue. The issue is, posting that picture would tell others I am not 100% satisfied in my relationship.  I think it would make couples feel like they are not each other’s ideal mate and that they have yet another thing to live up to, that they can’t, because, let’s face it, so few of us get to post airbrushed, touched up, professional pictures for everyone to drool over. THAT is wherein lies the biggest problem.

These “crushes” are usually fake. Not that they aren’t real people. They certainly are real people. However, the photos that make their way to us are NOT what the people actually look like. They are what professionals WANT you to see, want you to want, want you to want to be., and, dare I say, want you to want your partner to be. Sorry. Give me real any day.

Here’s another item to think about. It may start innocently enough. But, what if, just, what IF, some guy sees that “crush” post and doesn’t think a gal is happy? What if he decides to “be her friend” because she’s obviously looking for more? What if she’s flattered and starts thinking she is looking for more because he thinks she is because she posted a picture of a celebrity as her “crush”. What if the friend slightly resembles the celebrity? Yeah. Sure. It’s a lot of speculation. But, many a thing starts out innocently enough. So, my question is this, #mcm and #wcw, can your relationship survive it?

A Christmas Memory and Hush Your Mouth!

Who remembers "Oh be careful little mouth what you say"? I do. I remember it quite well when an occasional Christmas memory comes to mind. It was 1983. We finally got the word. We were going to be joining Daddy in Germany. He had already been there for several months. We were pretty happy. It was coming up on Christmas! We were flying out to meet up with him just a few days before Christmas! We wouldn't miss this one together!

As is the usual case with the military. We (mainly Mama) had to scramble to get ready. Pack the house, take care of school records, get the girls packed up. We were each only allowed so many pounds of luggage on the plane. You were only allowed so much weight per house to be shipped to you later. Guess what. No Christmas. Not really. There was no time to shop once we got there and it would have taken "Santa" away from Ann and Becky (I already knew) if we had it "just us" before we left. Besides, again, there was NO TIME to prepare.

So, Mama came up with a plan. She took us shopping. We got to PICK OUT our own presents! We got to choose, for just that year, what we wanted shipped to us in Germany! I will never forget picking out that plastic brown dollhouse. I will never forget walking with Mama through the store choosing my gifts. Becky was riding in the cart. I was a grown-up nine years old. Almost the exact same age as my youngest son. Ann walked along with us, too. I thought it was the coolest thing ever to get to know ahead of time what was coming to me, though I wouldn't have it for Christmas. It literally had to be packed up shortly after we got it.

Here's what else I will never forget. I will never forget walking up to the checkout and waiting in line for Mama to purchase our "gifts". I will also never forget the horrible woman behind us. I will never forget hearing her say, "How sad. These poor kids have to be here for the shopping. They should get to be surprised on Christmas!" How sad, Lady, that you didn't know the situation. How sad that you had to open your mouth and nearly ruin what was an excruciatingly exciting time for us.

So. Being an intelligent, grown-up, nine-year-old. I did what any smart kid would do. I turned to Mama and asked, "Do you think they'll like these presents, Mama?" I said it loudly. I wanted the lady to hear. I wanted HER to think they were for someone else. I wanted to protect my mama. I didn't want her to think I had a bad mama who was doing something wrong. Mama looked at me a little funny and said, "Yes. They will." I assume she thought I meant my sisters. The lady never knew (and didn't deserve to know) that, for me, that was one of the most exciting Christmases of my nine years. She made an assumption and acted like she knew and understood a situation about which she had no clue nor business knowing. And then, she opened her mouth. Be careful little mouth...

I've Earned My Stripes and So Have You!

I posted a tweet last week that said, "I give up. Stuck as the fat chick forever" or some such nonsense. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and it was most unflattering. It was one of those sideways, walking by, looked at it just right, and BAM! instant depression. You see, a year ago, I lost 50 lbs. I've gained back about ten of it. I want it gone, but, I haven't exactly been dedicated to getting it off because I've let life get in the way or had excuses or just felt like baking. :)

Here's the bigger problem, though. I'm a mom. WHAT?! That's a problem?! For my body? Yes. I'm 5'3" and at 24, had my first two babies...together. My 5'3" is all legs. I'm so "short-waisted" That there's barely an inch between my bottom rib and my hip bone. If I were proportionate, I'd probably be four or five inches taller. Now, I'm not complaining about that. I actually like being short. I have an excellent excuse to wear heels every day, but, that's another blog post...

So, back to babies. My boys were amazingly healthy. So healthy that they were born at 37 weeks and required no extra care after being born. However, I measured 48 weeks. Since a typical pregnancy goes 40 weeks, I was MASSIVE. They were 6 lbs and 6 1/4 lbs. 19 and 19 1/4 inches. I might add here, that I only gained 28 lbs during that pregnancy. But, there's no way my body is gonna snap back from that. My doctor told me I could do 1,000 sit ups a day and never change. You see, I stretched. I stretched a lot. I stretched so badly that I look like someone who HAS lost 100 lbs and has the leftover skin. I'd be a surgery candidate if I were on "Extreme Weight Loss". I stretched so much that the pregnancy pulled skin up from my thighs because there WAS NO MORE on my abdomen that could be used. THAT is what I caught a glimpse of in the mirror that day. THAT is what broke my heart and made me feel like the "fat chick forever".

You see, it's a catch-22. I can continue to lose weight. I plan to. That skin will still be there. The stretch marks that look like huge lightning bolts will still stretch from the top of my abdomen to under the skin roll to down the tops of my thighs. I am not thrilled with it, but, it's there. I'm not 15 any more. I'm old. I've been lucky enough to have very few wrinkles. Not so much with the gray hair. But, oh well. Such is life. Here's the thing, I'm me. And, being me includes all of the experiences of my life. One of those experiences was having my babies. Our bodies are designed to do this, ladies. The problem is, society has designed our bodies to go right back to where they should be the second a child is born. Society is made up of a bunch of fools.

Kudos to Kate Middleton for NOT hiding the fact that she was a brand new mom. I was honestly stunned that she didn't. At first, I only saw the baby over her belly and my initial reaction was that it was RIDICULOUS that she could go back to being that skinny that fast! Then, she proudly handed that baby over and showed the world that she's a mom and she's ok with it. I'm proud of her. I'm sure she will get back her gorgeous body and good luck to her doing it! It's a tough road that not everyone can accomplish.

My son, bless him, got curious a few days ago. He wanted to know about my marks and the skin roll. So, I told him. I hesitantly lifted up my shirt and let him see where the stripes start. I was scared he would be appalled. I also lowered the top of my pants so he could clearly see the skin flap. He looked at me and very sincerely apologized for what he had done to me (along with his brother). I almost melted. I didn't realize that I had complained about my body to the point that my son actually felt sorry for me. He then said, "You're a tiger!" Yes. Yes, I am.

This only made me wonder, what have I taught my kids about true beauty? They hear me whine about my gray hair. They've heard me call myself fat. They've seen me try to hide things I don't like about myself. That stops. Now. (Except the gray hair thing. I just can't get used to it). I will do my best to teach my kids that the beauty is inside. The true person cannot be hidden under layers of clothes, makeup, or anything else. I AM beautiful because I am me. I am embracing me. I am telling myself to tell my children that it's ok not to be perfect. Nobody is perfect. Every woman is different. Every woman's body is different. My body, my skin rolls, my stripes were earned. I worked HARD to get those things there! I worked harder resting carrying two babies than a man did doing manual labor at the same time. I have NOTHING to be ashamed of and everything to be proud of. Anyone who can't see the beauty in that or the beauty in you can't see past their own nose. Those people have a fictional idea of what true beauty is and need a lesson in true beauty. Ladies, I challenge you all to remember you earned your stripes and wear them proudly. :)