Pageant Mom?!

Well, I have done it. I have entered the world of PAGEANTS! Boy did I catch it from different areas! Some people were VERY supportive, some were very apathetic and some were very opposed. Abbi got an invitation in the mail, we responded, she wanted to do it, she was accepted, we jumped on board. WHAT a ride!

Let me tell you, it was HARD work getting ready for this thing! I had to read a TON of stuff! I didn't read some of it close enough the first time and ended up buying two dresses. Picture a big sigh here. However, it worked out because one of them worked well for the talent portion. We ended up working hard to raise the money she needed, fill out the forms, get the outfits, reserve a room, decide what to take with us...

We got up EARLY on Saturday morning in order to be in Waterloo by 7:00 AM. It's nearly two hours away. I stayed home the night before because the Big Boys had a track meet. I wanted to see them. So, we took off, got her checked in, found our hotel and started the insanity that is a pageant weekend.

Once we were there, the real work began! We had to get here, get there, get out all within specified times. There were certain outfits to be worn at certain times. We had to take breaks to eat. We had to literally run to get to some events. I had to fix hair, make ribbons, fix clothes, make sure she had her badge at all times, get her where she was going, and keep her going. No, I really didn't have to keep her going. She did that herself! She was ready to go every time, everywhere. She never fought me fixing her hair, she had ideas she wanted done. She asked for matching hair bows and I made them. She didn't beg and plead for all the little things that were for sale this weekend. She just looked and pointed out things she liked.

The people at this pageant (National American Miss) run a tight ship! There was a schedule to be followed the entire time. My Daddy's military career taught me something. If you are 15 minutes early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are LATE! Well, that's the way it is in pageant world, too! We had to get where we were going with time to spare. For one part, ABBI wanted to be ready an hour early. You don't understand, this child is the kind who walks out the door five minutes AFTER she is supposed to be somewhere. She has been a challenge to me all her life with this tendency she inherited from her father! I couldn't believe how she changed that aspect of herself for the pageant.

I was most impressed this weekend with my daughter. I have always known I had one tough girl. She chose to perform in this pageant. She practiced her flute as much as she could. She got up in front of the judges and played. She messed up. She paused. She gathered herself and she went on. She finished, got off the stage, and smiled for all the world!

She did her formal wear and self-introduction in front of over 300 people! She had a little flub in each. Again, she gathered herself, and smiled her gorgeous smile the entire time! She acknowledged that she had made a mistake and was frustrated with herself. But, she chalked it all up to learning. She says she will do better next time. Next time?!

Once the final pageant was over, I went to find her. I was worried. While her name was called out and she was singled out on stage for an accomplishment, she didn't even make top 20. Does anyone expect it for the first year? I hope not. She didn't either, but, she got further than many girls. I was worried she would be disappointed or hurt. What's wrong with me? I should have known better! My girl was not disappointed or hurt. She was worried. Some of her friends were crying! She had to go check on them! She wanted to congratulate others. She wanted to hug some she had gotten really close to.

Next time? You better believe it. I learned a lot about my daughter this weekend. I already knew she was smart, beautiful, talented, outgoing, and just all around awesome! I also learned that she is a hard worker, she is caring, she is vivacious, she is poised, she is compassionate, and she is just incredible. She is already planning how she will fix her mistakes from this year for next year. She is talking about how she will raise her money. She is thinking about the other competitions she wants to do. She is talking about how she will adjust her talent. And, she is texting up a storm to her new friends. Look out world, here comes Abbi...

Competition

A few days ago, Chris and I were talking about some things that have been going on. He asked the question, "why are people so competitive?" That got me started thinking. Why ARE we competitive? What is it that DRIVES us to have the same, more, better?

I answered Chris. I guess my thinking was due of the unit we are currently studying in my science classes. I am teaching my students about "survival of the fittest". I told Chris that, in a way, we are no different than animals. We have a drive to survive. Ours is just skewed by our intellect.

Humans don't necessarily have to compete for resources like animals. We have opposable thumbs! We can go BUY our food, we go HOME if we are cold, we climb into a BED if we are tired. Yet, we compete like animals, sometimes because we don't need to compete for resources like lower order animals.

We compete for jobs. We compete for significant others. We compete for property. We compete for the NUMBER ONE toy of the Christmas season. We compete for affection. I have students who argue ALL the time with each other over who is my favorite. (I always answer, '"I dislike you all the same!") Competition is a way of life for ALL living organisms.

For human, competition, unfortunately comes with emotions. If we don't get our kid that thing that every kid is getting, we feel like we have let them down. If we get passed by for a promotion, we feel devastated. If someone gets a gift that we were hoping to get, we feel jealous. The worst part about it, is, most of the time, we really SHOULDN'T feel those emotions. I have learned that EVERY time something like this happens to me, there is something better in store.

It would be nice if everyone could just be happy for each other when something good happens. We can always feel empathy and sympathy. Those emotions are easily tapped into and freely shared. Locking up that competitive, envious monster is another thing. Humans have such a sense of entitlement. We always feel we are "owed" something. Wouldn't it be nice if we just accepted what we are given, be happy for those who received better, and tried to be better givers?

I Wish...

You know, there are a lot of things I wish I could do. I wish I could sing really well. I wish I could play an instrument. I probably could...IF I were willing to put in the time and effort required at this age. I am feeling quite old to take on something like that, too.

I would love to be able to knit intricate patterns and things. I can do some knitting. I have made scarves and blankets. I would like to make sweaters and cute little hats. I guess I could learn to do that, if I wanted to. I would just need to take the time to learn how to do that.

I wish I could act. I would like to be able to just get up on a stage and perform. It would be so cool to be able to bring people to tears with a facial expression or soliloquy. I think it would be awesome to hold complete strangers in thrall while watching me.

I know I have talents. We all do. I try to put my talents to use. I try to use what I have been given. I can't say that I always do it perfectly or successfully. I dabble in some things. I could work harder at them and do them better. Imagine what would happen if everyone could do everything they wanted to do as perfectly as they wanted to do it...wouldn't it be a boring world?

Breast Cancer Awareness

I am going to rant here. I absolutely cannot stand getting inbox messages on facebook saying, "it's that time of year, again" and the email be all about breast cancer awareness. I especially wonder why I got several of them in JANUARY when October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. What bothers me about these messages is that they are trite. They are ridiculous and have nothing to do with breast cancer awareness.

Why do I say that? Really? Posting a status about where you leave your purse does nothing more than put a sexual innuendo on the subject. Saying you are going to a foreign country for so many months just makes people think you have something super exciting going on and they get all excited for you. The worst one, in my opinion was the one that led people to believe others were pregnant. Imagine how heartbroken some older woman was when she saw her daughter post that thinking she was finally going to be a grandmother. Or imagine the horror some dad felt when he saw his daughter in her freshman year of college posted it.

Then, you have the whole, "don't tell the guys about it" part of the emails. Really?! Why? Do men not have breasts? Do they not get breast cancer? I mean, I agree women will not be getting prostate exams in the near future, but, men DO get breast cancer and they NEED to be aware of that fact.

I think these emails are a silly, pointless way of getting attention. I honestly believe that the only reason they have kept going for so long is because ONE of them (the one about bra colors) got national attention. It got media press. So, of course, people had to jump on the bandwagon. We are so competitive we have to find new ways to outdo each other. If that involves thinking of a new email to send out, then so be it. Imagine what would happen if those creative talents were ACTUALLY put to work for REAL efforts toward breast cancer awareness.

My grandmother had breast cancer. My mom has had several cancerous places removed from her skin. My grandfather has had prostate cancer. I am all about awareness. I have a "fight like a girl" hat. Why? Because the money I spent went towards research. Do you REALLY want to raise awareness for breast cancer? Don't do it through an innuendo-filled email. Do it OUT LOUD! Do it in public. Talk to people, buy the shirts, walk/run a marathon, just, please, if you have any respect for me, do NOT fill my inbox with something I am not going to do.

The Most Humbling Gift

Christmas is always a fun time for teachers. The kids are wild. They are always sneaking candy into their mouths and there is so much excitement in the air. I love being a teacher around Christmas time. It can be thoroughly exhausting, though.

Kids love to give teachers presents. I will have students ask me very pointed questions about my favorite foods, colors, fragrances, etc. They start asking in November and will even ask what I WANT them to give me. I honestly hate that question. I hate when they ask me "what do you like?" I never want to answer that question because it makes me feel as if I am asking for gifts.

This year was no different. I took a picture of my desk and sent it to Mama. She said she was "coming out of retirement to be a teacher". It made me laugh. I got candy, homemade gifts, a purse, and a keychain made into a high-heeled shoe. I also received a gift that humbled me more than any gift I have ever received in my life.

I have a student who I have had a hard time with this year. I made a snap judgement and decided she was stubborn and lazy. I knew she had a very poor home situation. However, she seemed to defy me at every turn. It was particularly difficult when I wanted her to do classwork I knew she was capable of. This girl came from a family that was destitute. The worst home situation I have ever seen in my ten years as an educator and I have seen some bad ones.

I made a conscious choice to soften up and work with her. I have tried to just LISTEN to her when she has excuses. It has NOT been easy. I still want to be tough and firm and FORCE her to do her schoolwork. I have wanted her to see that an education is the ONLY way she will be able to change her situation when she is old enough to do something about it. However, I have pulled back and tried very hard to just get her to do the work. We will work toward what I know she is capable of, later.

After a month or so, she started to come around. She would stop and talk to me in the hall. She drew pictures for me to post with the ones I post from other kids. She has started turning in more assignments. I have discovered that the work isn't as satisfying to me as seeing her start to thrive some. Seeing her smile as she walks down the hall and sees me standing outside my room.

As I sat at my desk on the last day before Christmas, gifts starting coming in. My desk started piling up with all the wonderful goodies and she came in. She walked up and plunked something down on my desk. It was wrapped in paper that had been reused. It was heavy and oddly shaped. I opened the paper on top a little to find a bottle of perfume. The lid was missing. The perfume bottle was only about 3/4 of the way full and the top was dusty. I nearly cried.

Of the twenty-odd gifts I received this year for Christmas from students, it is my favorite. It has a place on the mantle so I can see it all the time. I didn't even take all of the paper off of it. I want to be able to see it often as a reminder. I want to be reminded to stay humble and never, EVER make a snap judgement about a student again. I may never be able to reach every student, but that little bottle will be a constant reminder to keep trying.

Why Do You Work?

I love it when people learn that I have four kids and assume I stay home. They always look so shocked when they find out I work full-time. Occasionally, I get the snide little attitude of being a teacher so I can stay home with the kids. I will admit, that did factor into my decision to be a teacher, but, the main reason I did it is because I knew I would be good at it.

I didn't get into teaching for money or fame. I didn't do it so I could have Christmas break, Spring break, Summer vacation or snow days. I did it because I knew I could combine two things I really enjoyed, science and young minds. I try to engage those minds as often and in as many ways as I can. It isn't always easy. A sick day isn't really a sick day. If I am home sick, I still check my email and even grade papers if I have them with me. And, I am ALWAYS thinking of lesson plans or new ways to teach things.

Here is what I don't get. I don't understand why some people are in their current jobs. I see facebook statuses about how much they dread going in. I see them complain about coworkers or even bosses. I see them say how much they "hate that place". I see how they don't want to be there when they text it in from their phones. Why do you do it? It really makes me wonder why they work the jobs they do when the people are in trained, well-paying positions that they had to go to school for a few years to be able to do.

I won't lie to anyone and say every single day I work is a piece of cake and I never have any problems. You would know I am lying! However, if you look hard enough, usually, the good will outweigh the bad anywhere you are. You just have to be willing to let go of the negative and look for the positive. That is not always an easy thing to do. I realize many people are in high-stress jobs. My job can be very stressful. However, I have many more days where I feel like I haven't even been to work! It's because I enjoy what I do.

Don't get me wrong, I totally understand that people have to pay their bills and sometimes, you gotta take what you get. I am talking more along the lines of professionals. If you are educated enough and smart enough to have a job as a professional, I would think you could easily find a job you would prefer to be working. If you are struggling in that area, at least try to find SOMETHING enjoyable about your job. I feel sorry for people who can't do that. I wouldn't want to be that miserable all the time. If nothing else, be happy there is a paycheck involved! :)

Prayer in Schools

I have heard many different comments about how we "need prayer in schools." I am going to disagree with that statement. I am sure that may come as a shock to some and nowhere near a surprise to others. I am equally sure there are plenty who have no opinion on this topic and could care less. That's ok, too. You don't have to read on ;)

Why do I disagree with prayer in schools? Well, for one thing, I think it should be taken care of at home. If you want your child to be praying in school, teach that child to pray at home. Train up a child in the way he should go and he will never depart from it. Train up means from infancy...not from Kindergarten on.

In my job, I am expected to fill MANY roles. I am an advisor, a nurse, a counselor, a teacher, and occasionally, a warden...just to name a few. I have heard it said, by parents, that when their child is in school, it is the teacher's job to teach the child EVERYTHING. By EVERYTHING, I mean the subjects in school, manners, responsibility, organization, and a host of other things. I honestly feel sometimes that some parents can't wait for their child to turn 5 so they can have free babysitting.

Not only do they expect us to do this, we teachers have many, many people saying that we aren't doing our jobs. We get requests from parents wanting US to explain why the child did poorly on a paper or failed a test. We are asked to monitor a child's health problems, eating habits, allergies, and behavior disorders. On top of this, you are asking me to be their spiritual leader, as well?

I can do that. I would gladly do that. However, it isn't right for me to do that. It's not my job to do that. It's YOURS, the parent. What happens when you ask me to lead prayer in school and I don't pray the way you expect me to? I already get the emails and phone calls about why I don't teach the way you were taught. I get the emails about why your child doesn't bring home a text book every night. Are you reading the Bible to your child every night?

If we allowed prayer back into schools, whose job would it be to monitor who was praying and who was not? We have freedom OF religion. That means that the different denominations and religions are all allowed to worship in individual ways. It means that I CAN NOT, by law, impose MY way of praying on anybody else. So, I say again, want prayer in schools? Don't drop your kid off at Sunday School on Sunday and Wednesday night youth group and expect everything to be ok. Want prayer in schools? Teach your child to pray. The rest will follow...