Right Wing or Left Wing...

Left wing or right wing, all I know is a bird can’t fly without both. So, here’s my question. What makes everyone think this country can get by without both parties? This is perhaps what has saddened me most about this most recent election.

I had hoped once the election was over, some of the nastiness I saw coming from “Christian” people on both sides of the center would stop. It didn’t. I am seeing so much negativism and ugliness, that it saddens me. It was difficult enough hearing all the slander and bad-mouthing that was happening through the campaigns, but, to see it once things are over, wow. Just, wow.

Nobody seems to have any respect for the fact that this country was founded on freedom. That freedom includes the right to have a different opinion. What happened to respecting other people? Why did we suddenly become a nation of “My way or the highway?”

I do not believe there is any way we can survive the things that have been going on in this country without cooperation. Just because someone’s opinion is different, it doesn’t necessarily mean it is wrong! Not every difference of opinion means that it’s the wrong answer; it could just be a different way of looking at the same problem.

Do I agree with everything the party I voted for believes in? No. Do I agree with everything the other party believes in? No, again. Do I think both parties have good ideas? Yes. Do I think they could work together and come together with good ideas? Yes. I firmly do believe that. Do I think those elected people will grow up and try to overcome their differences? Probably not. Why? The general public isn’t doing it. Why should they?

It feels that some people thrive on the divisiveness. It seems that some enjoy saying, “Nyah, nyah, I’m better than you because I am from THIS group.” Really? So, politics has suddenly become the high school popularity contest? “Wear the right clothes and have the same ideas and you can join our group, which is better than THAT group.”

True respect is the one thing this nation needs more than anything else. It saddens me to say that I don’t see it enough. Too many people don’t respect the laws that govern this land. Too many children don’t respect their parents. Too many people don’t respect their elders. Why would they respect each other? Why would they respect others’ opinions? When we have states that think the federal government has the wrong answer and make up their own, opposite laws, we can’t expect those that govern the entire country to agree on anything. Can we?

My prayer is that, at some point, people remember the words of Aretha Franklin and take them to heart. Respect means a lot to me. There have been many times in my life that, though I have had to grit my teeth and bite my tongue, I still showed respect. Why? Because, eventually, everyone learns, God is ultimately the one in charge and the only one whose opinion truly matters.

Raising Teenaged Boys...

Never has the phrase "it takes a village" been more clear to me than it has been this week. Raising teenaged boys is TOUGH. When I say raising teenaged boys, I don't mean just the ones I birthed. I mean the ones I teach, the ones my boys hang out with, and sometimes, random ones I see out and about.

Teenaged boys frustrate me, make me laugh, make me proud, and make me want to scream. Teenaged boys are annoying, aggravating, obnoxious, loud, irresponsible, brain dead and hopeless! Oh my gosh! Did I really just say that? Yep. Do I mean it? Only about every other day! However, I learn something new about teenaged boys all the time. I learn something new about MY teenaged boys all the time.

Teenaged boys are sweet, caring, giving, sensitive, observant, pleasers, tough, ambitious, and excited. Do I mean that? Only about every other day. Why am I saying all of this in the same blog? Because I experience all of this every day. Let's take yesterday for example.

I went to work like I will every day for the next nine months. From the same student, I get harassed, pouted at, and hugged. This same student also whined about having to move from the back of the room, complained about having to do work on the second day of school, did that work, turned it in, and hugged me as he walked out of class. Hormones, much???

When I came home, I learned that my sons have a lot of character. They didn't tell me this. I got the story third hand from their grandma. The two big boys had been at the home of a friend. This friend was having a temper tantrum and saying some ugly things to his mom. Imagine my surprise when I am informed that these two children I gave birth to are turning into men. They stood up to their friend. They told him to "knock it off" and "have more respect for his mom". I wanted to weep for joy. How many of us have gone along with the crowd or kept our mouths shut for fear of losing a friend or the respect of a coworker for actually speaking our minds?

Later last night, the boys had two friends over, they camped out in the back yard. They had a fire pit set up. One of the big boys took the dogs out for a walk and the little one comes in with the dogs. Where are the big boys??? They, all four, decided to go to the grocery store. WHAT?! When, who, how did they get permission? I wasn't informed, nobody was informed. So, when all four boys return on their bicycles, all four boys are met by a mad mama! Me!

Did I tell them off? Yep! I asked each how old he was. I then asked which one of them was the adult who decided they had permission to go to the store. I don't have a problem with the going, it's the going without permission. They ALL knew I was upset. They ALL admitted (without prompting) it was irresponsible and disrespectful of them to do. I gave them all instructions and they all said, "Yes ma'am." Later, when I went to tell them the door was being locked and I was going to bed, I got four goodnight hugs.

Bottom line, raising teenaged boys is tough. No matter who gave birth, we ALL need to raise them to be men. Not only is it tough. It is rewarding. It is gratifying to see them grow and change. It is amazing to see little pieces of the men they are to become. And, there is no feeling in the world like a little boy who is bigger than you wrapping his arms around you for no reason at all.

Chick-Fil-A

This post is either going to be popular or hated and I honestly couldn't care either way. I typically try to stay out of hot-button topics. I get aggravated when people push their own agenda constantly and shove it down other's throats. I stay out of things for multiple reasons. One reason is because of my job. I have learned that being in education, your personal and political beliefs can be placed under a lot of scrutiny and can cause you problems you don't want to deal with. Another reason is because I fell everyone has a God-given, constitutionally given right to his or her own opinion and beliefs.

Now, on to the hot-button topic I usually try to avoid. I am honestly sick of both sides of this debate. The only thing I am hearing from anyone is how wrong the other one is. Really? How about you are BOTH wrong. The innocent party here is the company. What??!! Yes. I said it.

Everyone is talking about how wrong or how right Mr. Cathy was with what he said. How many actually took the time to read EXACTLY what was said? He never mentioned LGBT. He simply said what they DO support. He calls it "traditional marriage". Ok, everyone knows what that means. But, he did NOT in fact bash anyone. Guess what, folks, it's his company and his opinion. He has a right to do that.

On the other side of the issue, we have all the people crying foul. Guess what folks, it's their right to do that. Each and every person in this country has that constitutional right to say what he or she thinks. Those who don't support his opinion have the right to choose NOT to eat at Chick-Fil-A. People who do support it have a right to eat there. People who don't care can eat there when they want to either way.

The overwhelming thing I have heard from both sides is hate. That is what bothers me the most. Everyone says we have to love each other. It's scriptural. Love your neighbor. Who is my neighbor? Everyone. My gay neighbor, my straight neighbor, my Muslim neighbor, my Christian neighbor, my white neighbor, my black neighbor. I am commanded to love them. That doesn't mean, "love them as long as they have the same opinion I do." It doesn't mean, "love them as long as they support the things I do." It just says LOVE.

Guess what...I HATE basketball. Can't stand it. Don't get it. Don't understand why people watch it. Guess what else, I am not going to stop being friends with people who do like it. I am not going to disown my kids who want to play it. I am not going to step on their constitutional right to talk about basketball in open forum or own a basketball team some day (even though we all know football is WAY better!). Do you know why I am not going to do any of that? Because, even though, in MY opinion, basketball is ridiculous, I refuse to FORCE my opinion on anyone else. I am trying, very hard, to love people regardless. THAT is what I would like to see other people doing.

I have opinions. I have beliefs. I have ideas. They are mine. If someone else shares them, that's great. If someone doesn't, that's that person's right. I firmly believe that. What I don't want is people telling me I can or cannot eat somewhere, purchase a product, or visit a store because it doesn't adhere to YOUR beliefs. My belief is that Chick-Fil-A has the BEST chicken nuggets and chicken biscuits anywhere, and, if I want one, I'll eat it because it's not MY job to be anyone's judge....

Pageant Mom?!

Well, I have done it. I have entered the world of PAGEANTS! Boy did I catch it from different areas! Some people were VERY supportive, some were very apathetic and some were very opposed. Abbi got an invitation in the mail, we responded, she wanted to do it, she was accepted, we jumped on board. WHAT a ride!

Let me tell you, it was HARD work getting ready for this thing! I had to read a TON of stuff! I didn't read some of it close enough the first time and ended up buying two dresses. Picture a big sigh here. However, it worked out because one of them worked well for the talent portion. We ended up working hard to raise the money she needed, fill out the forms, get the outfits, reserve a room, decide what to take with us...

We got up EARLY on Saturday morning in order to be in Waterloo by 7:00 AM. It's nearly two hours away. I stayed home the night before because the Big Boys had a track meet. I wanted to see them. So, we took off, got her checked in, found our hotel and started the insanity that is a pageant weekend.

Once we were there, the real work began! We had to get here, get there, get out all within specified times. There were certain outfits to be worn at certain times. We had to take breaks to eat. We had to literally run to get to some events. I had to fix hair, make ribbons, fix clothes, make sure she had her badge at all times, get her where she was going, and keep her going. No, I really didn't have to keep her going. She did that herself! She was ready to go every time, everywhere. She never fought me fixing her hair, she had ideas she wanted done. She asked for matching hair bows and I made them. She didn't beg and plead for all the little things that were for sale this weekend. She just looked and pointed out things she liked.

The people at this pageant (National American Miss) run a tight ship! There was a schedule to be followed the entire time. My Daddy's military career taught me something. If you are 15 minutes early, you are on time. If you are on time, you are LATE! Well, that's the way it is in pageant world, too! We had to get where we were going with time to spare. For one part, ABBI wanted to be ready an hour early. You don't understand, this child is the kind who walks out the door five minutes AFTER she is supposed to be somewhere. She has been a challenge to me all her life with this tendency she inherited from her father! I couldn't believe how she changed that aspect of herself for the pageant.

I was most impressed this weekend with my daughter. I have always known I had one tough girl. She chose to perform in this pageant. She practiced her flute as much as she could. She got up in front of the judges and played. She messed up. She paused. She gathered herself and she went on. She finished, got off the stage, and smiled for all the world!

She did her formal wear and self-introduction in front of over 300 people! She had a little flub in each. Again, she gathered herself, and smiled her gorgeous smile the entire time! She acknowledged that she had made a mistake and was frustrated with herself. But, she chalked it all up to learning. She says she will do better next time. Next time?!

Once the final pageant was over, I went to find her. I was worried. While her name was called out and she was singled out on stage for an accomplishment, she didn't even make top 20. Does anyone expect it for the first year? I hope not. She didn't either, but, she got further than many girls. I was worried she would be disappointed or hurt. What's wrong with me? I should have known better! My girl was not disappointed or hurt. She was worried. Some of her friends were crying! She had to go check on them! She wanted to congratulate others. She wanted to hug some she had gotten really close to.

Next time? You better believe it. I learned a lot about my daughter this weekend. I already knew she was smart, beautiful, talented, outgoing, and just all around awesome! I also learned that she is a hard worker, she is caring, she is vivacious, she is poised, she is compassionate, and she is just incredible. She is already planning how she will fix her mistakes from this year for next year. She is talking about how she will raise her money. She is thinking about the other competitions she wants to do. She is talking about how she will adjust her talent. And, she is texting up a storm to her new friends. Look out world, here comes Abbi...

Competition

A few days ago, Chris and I were talking about some things that have been going on. He asked the question, "why are people so competitive?" That got me started thinking. Why ARE we competitive? What is it that DRIVES us to have the same, more, better?

I answered Chris. I guess my thinking was due of the unit we are currently studying in my science classes. I am teaching my students about "survival of the fittest". I told Chris that, in a way, we are no different than animals. We have a drive to survive. Ours is just skewed by our intellect.

Humans don't necessarily have to compete for resources like animals. We have opposable thumbs! We can go BUY our food, we go HOME if we are cold, we climb into a BED if we are tired. Yet, we compete like animals, sometimes because we don't need to compete for resources like lower order animals.

We compete for jobs. We compete for significant others. We compete for property. We compete for the NUMBER ONE toy of the Christmas season. We compete for affection. I have students who argue ALL the time with each other over who is my favorite. (I always answer, '"I dislike you all the same!") Competition is a way of life for ALL living organisms.

For human, competition, unfortunately comes with emotions. If we don't get our kid that thing that every kid is getting, we feel like we have let them down. If we get passed by for a promotion, we feel devastated. If someone gets a gift that we were hoping to get, we feel jealous. The worst part about it, is, most of the time, we really SHOULDN'T feel those emotions. I have learned that EVERY time something like this happens to me, there is something better in store.

It would be nice if everyone could just be happy for each other when something good happens. We can always feel empathy and sympathy. Those emotions are easily tapped into and freely shared. Locking up that competitive, envious monster is another thing. Humans have such a sense of entitlement. We always feel we are "owed" something. Wouldn't it be nice if we just accepted what we are given, be happy for those who received better, and tried to be better givers?

I Wish...

You know, there are a lot of things I wish I could do. I wish I could sing really well. I wish I could play an instrument. I probably could...IF I were willing to put in the time and effort required at this age. I am feeling quite old to take on something like that, too.

I would love to be able to knit intricate patterns and things. I can do some knitting. I have made scarves and blankets. I would like to make sweaters and cute little hats. I guess I could learn to do that, if I wanted to. I would just need to take the time to learn how to do that.

I wish I could act. I would like to be able to just get up on a stage and perform. It would be so cool to be able to bring people to tears with a facial expression or soliloquy. I think it would be awesome to hold complete strangers in thrall while watching me.

I know I have talents. We all do. I try to put my talents to use. I try to use what I have been given. I can't say that I always do it perfectly or successfully. I dabble in some things. I could work harder at them and do them better. Imagine what would happen if everyone could do everything they wanted to do as perfectly as they wanted to do it...wouldn't it be a boring world?

Breast Cancer Awareness

I am going to rant here. I absolutely cannot stand getting inbox messages on facebook saying, "it's that time of year, again" and the email be all about breast cancer awareness. I especially wonder why I got several of them in JANUARY when October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. What bothers me about these messages is that they are trite. They are ridiculous and have nothing to do with breast cancer awareness.

Why do I say that? Really? Posting a status about where you leave your purse does nothing more than put a sexual innuendo on the subject. Saying you are going to a foreign country for so many months just makes people think you have something super exciting going on and they get all excited for you. The worst one, in my opinion was the one that led people to believe others were pregnant. Imagine how heartbroken some older woman was when she saw her daughter post that thinking she was finally going to be a grandmother. Or imagine the horror some dad felt when he saw his daughter in her freshman year of college posted it.

Then, you have the whole, "don't tell the guys about it" part of the emails. Really?! Why? Do men not have breasts? Do they not get breast cancer? I mean, I agree women will not be getting prostate exams in the near future, but, men DO get breast cancer and they NEED to be aware of that fact.

I think these emails are a silly, pointless way of getting attention. I honestly believe that the only reason they have kept going for so long is because ONE of them (the one about bra colors) got national attention. It got media press. So, of course, people had to jump on the bandwagon. We are so competitive we have to find new ways to outdo each other. If that involves thinking of a new email to send out, then so be it. Imagine what would happen if those creative talents were ACTUALLY put to work for REAL efforts toward breast cancer awareness.

My grandmother had breast cancer. My mom has had several cancerous places removed from her skin. My grandfather has had prostate cancer. I am all about awareness. I have a "fight like a girl" hat. Why? Because the money I spent went towards research. Do you REALLY want to raise awareness for breast cancer? Don't do it through an innuendo-filled email. Do it OUT LOUD! Do it in public. Talk to people, buy the shirts, walk/run a marathon, just, please, if you have any respect for me, do NOT fill my inbox with something I am not going to do.

The Most Humbling Gift

Christmas is always a fun time for teachers. The kids are wild. They are always sneaking candy into their mouths and there is so much excitement in the air. I love being a teacher around Christmas time. It can be thoroughly exhausting, though.

Kids love to give teachers presents. I will have students ask me very pointed questions about my favorite foods, colors, fragrances, etc. They start asking in November and will even ask what I WANT them to give me. I honestly hate that question. I hate when they ask me "what do you like?" I never want to answer that question because it makes me feel as if I am asking for gifts.

This year was no different. I took a picture of my desk and sent it to Mama. She said she was "coming out of retirement to be a teacher". It made me laugh. I got candy, homemade gifts, a purse, and a keychain made into a high-heeled shoe. I also received a gift that humbled me more than any gift I have ever received in my life.

I have a student who I have had a hard time with this year. I made a snap judgement and decided she was stubborn and lazy. I knew she had a very poor home situation. However, she seemed to defy me at every turn. It was particularly difficult when I wanted her to do classwork I knew she was capable of. This girl came from a family that was destitute. The worst home situation I have ever seen in my ten years as an educator and I have seen some bad ones.

I made a conscious choice to soften up and work with her. I have tried to just LISTEN to her when she has excuses. It has NOT been easy. I still want to be tough and firm and FORCE her to do her schoolwork. I have wanted her to see that an education is the ONLY way she will be able to change her situation when she is old enough to do something about it. However, I have pulled back and tried very hard to just get her to do the work. We will work toward what I know she is capable of, later.

After a month or so, she started to come around. She would stop and talk to me in the hall. She drew pictures for me to post with the ones I post from other kids. She has started turning in more assignments. I have discovered that the work isn't as satisfying to me as seeing her start to thrive some. Seeing her smile as she walks down the hall and sees me standing outside my room.

As I sat at my desk on the last day before Christmas, gifts starting coming in. My desk started piling up with all the wonderful goodies and she came in. She walked up and plunked something down on my desk. It was wrapped in paper that had been reused. It was heavy and oddly shaped. I opened the paper on top a little to find a bottle of perfume. The lid was missing. The perfume bottle was only about 3/4 of the way full and the top was dusty. I nearly cried.

Of the twenty-odd gifts I received this year for Christmas from students, it is my favorite. It has a place on the mantle so I can see it all the time. I didn't even take all of the paper off of it. I want to be able to see it often as a reminder. I want to be reminded to stay humble and never, EVER make a snap judgement about a student again. I may never be able to reach every student, but that little bottle will be a constant reminder to keep trying.