I am an INTENSE mom. I watch everything my kids do. I offer helpful suggestions. I praise good work. I can whistle (loudly) through my teeth. If I see one of my children goofing off or not paying attention, I whistle. They KNOW that whistle. One can see their heads snap up and look straight at me. I point, they nod, then get into position. Other parents have learned my method and it doesn't even phase them. They do, however, look to see which kid is getting corrected. It is especially useful with my older two. They always play on the same team, so, sometimes, BOTH heads snap up! It also helps when one is hit by a pitch, receives a hard tackle, or fouled in basketball. I whistle, the child looks, I raise an eyebrow or do a thumbs up and the child either gives me a thumbs up, nods, or shakes the head. Silent communication from the playing field. They ALWAYS know Mama is watching and paying attention.
What I don't like about being a sports parent is other sports parents. I don't mean the ones like me. I mean the ones who have to coach EVERY child on the team from their camp chairs or the bleachers. I mean the ones who scream at their kids for a bad play or striking out. I am talking about the ones who will stretch or break rules just to WIN. The ones who try to live vicariously through their children. THOSE parents make angry. You cannot expect a 12-year-old boy to hit like Babe Ruth! A ten-year-old girl is NOT normally going to hit a home run. A seven-year-old boy is NOT going to catch every fly ball hit near him.
The kids need to have fun. Intensity and competitiveness comes later. I will admit that there is quite a big difference watching my older two compared to my younger two. They are reaching an age where they are hard on themselves and want to win every game. That is ok with me. I want them to WANT to be good at what they do. I don't want them to think that they have to do it for me or for their daddy.
Last night was a prime example of why I don't like other sports parents. Many of these people coach. I am glad for that. I don't think I could do it. I truly don't think I have the skill to do it. However, the cocky, cheating coaches are the ones that irritate me. At my daughter's game, the other team came out with attitude. I know that may sound silly to some, but, it is true. You can see it in the arrogance of the coach and the way he talks to his team. It was also in the way he showed his team how to rejoice over the missteps of ours. He also started off the game in my bad graces by saying his team hadn't lost a game. Which was not true. They lost to us. Our girls were the only undefeated team this season. Why did he say this? So they could be the home team and have last at bat.
I watched the girls on the other team. They were so VERY hard on themselves. One of their pitchers was in tears because of the runs she had allowed. I lay all of this on her parents and her coach. I was turned off immediately because of how he questioned the rules. He then argued with a run that we got because our girl was hit by the ball thanks to one of his girls. There was no one keeping the scoreboard. I heard him say to the umpire at the end of one inning, "I don't know, we have eight or NINE, I think." The score was 8-5. He knew this, he was just trying to pad his lead. Our girls scored two and held them in the bottom of the next inning.
The top of the last inning comes up. I leaned over to Chris and said, "Watch, he's going to try to call time on the game." Sure enough. He got his girls in the dugout and had them start lining up like they were going to shake hands. Thankfully, the umpire, though he was but a 14-year-old kid, told him there was one inning to go after he said, "Isn't that time?" Happily, our girls came back, scored 9 runs and won the game 16-8 by holding the other team in the bottom of the last inning. I am VERY proud of how gracious our girls were. They cheered for the other girls, they clapped for them as they were handed their medals for second place, and showed NO attitude.
These types of coaches are the ones who ruin sports for kids. By not teaching them to be gracious, good sports, the kids learn ugliness. They feel at an early age that they must win at all costs or they feel like failures. They don't learn to ENJOY what they are doing for fear of some type of retribution for failure, whether it be verbal or in the form of extra practices, running, etc. We have been fairly lucky with our kids coaches. So far, there has only been ONE I have come close to having words with and it was a good thing I missed one game, in particular! However, should the day come where I see a coach causing my kids to cry, hate what they are doing, or learn to cheat, you better believe MAMA will make sure Coach is informed...
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