My Heart is as Broken as Our Country

This is my country! Land of my birth!

This is my country! Grandest on earth! This is my country!

Land of my birth!

This is my country! Grandest on earth!

I pledge thee my allegiance, America, the bold,

For this is my country to have and to hold.

What diff'rence if I hail from North or South

Or from the East or West?

My heart is filled with love for all of these.

I only know I swell with pride and deep within my breast

I thrill to see Old Glory paint the breeze.

With hand upon heart I thank the Lord For this my native land,

For all I love is here within her gates.

My soul is rooted deeply in the soil on which I stand,

For these are mine own United States.

This is my country! Land of my choice!

This is my country! Hear my proud voice!

I pledge thee my allegiance, America, the bold,

For this is my country! To have and to hold.

Written by: Don Raye, Al Jacobs

I learned this song a very long time ago. I wasn't even a preteen. 

I was so proud to be a Girl Scout. I dove into everything there 

was to offer. I earned badges left and right. I had friends. Many 

friends from all over. Daddy was in the military. We were exposed

to everyone from everywhere. 

I learned to make homemade tortillas from my mother's friend. I 

might have been 11 years old at the time. She was from Puerto 

Rico.  We stayed with them while Mama ad Daddy took a short 

vacation. We loved her and her family. We loved all of our friends. 

We didn't know there was such a thing as race problems or 

inequality. Where we were, everyone was the same. 

I was always so proud of that song and the National Anthem. My 

heart still swells and I get teary when I hear the National Anthem. 

But, this isn't MY country. It's OUR country. It's always been OUR 

country. But, right now, everyone is acting like it's "MY" country. 

This isn't that country I knew as a child. This isn't the acceptance 

I learned as a youngster. There is so much more violence, hate, 

bigotry, division, and racism. My older eyes see it. My younger 

heart  is crying because of it. I've raised my children the way I knew 

to raise them. We accept everyone. We love everyone. Hate takes 

too much  energy. Hate takes time to teach. Divisiveness starts with 

a tiny spark that can cause a great explosion. 

I look at all of the things happening today and I can only ask why. 

Why did we let our nation get like this? Why did we teach our 

children hate  instead of love? Why did our world become so selfish? 

Why are we allowing the hate to spread like wildfire? Why are we not 

dousing the fire with love, patience, and understanding? Why are we 

so unwilling to compromise? Why is it only one way or the other? 

The only answer I have is SELF. 

People have become lovers of self. People have become selfish. 

People have become so focused on themselves they refuse to 

acknowledge others. They refuse to see that someone else has an 

idea. They refuse to see that someone might need help. They 

refuse to look past a pigment to the same beating heart. The 

same color of blood. The same organs that perform the same 

purposes. One doesn't work without the other. We cannot work 

without each other. This country cannot work without all of us. 

If your child wanted to date someone who you knew had a bad 

reputation, would you be apprehensive? Would you try to stop it? 

Would you ground your child? Would you react first when the kid 

showed up at the door and ask questions later? If you were a cop 

who was about to arrest someone who you knew had a huge rap 

sheet, would you be apprehensive? Would you react first and ask 

questions later? I'm NOT defending the fact that people have 

died. I'm not getting into any of the statistics of race and crime, 

here. You'll not drag me into any debates about proportionality and 

disproportionality. I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong. I'm 

simply saying that nothing is ever as black and white as people 

selfishly want to make it. 

I'm so saddened by the recent reports of people refusing to serve 

police officers. How can one summarily decide all officers are 

bad? How can you refuse service to those who have dedicated their 

lives "to protect and serve" YOU? I've been a mother for a very long 

time. I don't believe I have EVER punished all of my children for the 

actions of one. Even my identical twins are two distinct people who 

deserve to be treated as such. My boys are not a "unit". Police 

officers work for a unit and can work as a unit. However, all  are 

individuals. Just as I could never paint all men with the same brush 

because one or two hurt me, all police officers cannot be painted 

with the same brush as some who overreact, act too quickly or 

harshly, or, are just bad guys.  

I agree that voices need to be heard. I agree that changes need 

to be made. Do you agree that change starts with you? Nothing 

ever changes with violence. Violence begets violence. If someone 

comes at me with violence, I'll protect myself as violently. If 

someone comes to me willing to talk, willing to discuss, willing to 

have open and honest discourse, I'll meet halfway and further. 

Organizing is amazing. When people are willing to work, willing to 

organize, big changes can happen. But, while you're working on 

your protest, take a minute to be selfless. Hand your unopened 

bottle of water to the homeless guy sitting and watching your 

protest. Pick up the candy wrapper the chick in front of you just 

dropped. Clean up the city park and have your organizational 

meeting there. 

I'm going to end this with this last bit of thought. Everyone, 

everywhere do yourselves and everyone around you a favor. 

Turn OFF the news, close OUT your social media, disconnect 

FROM the Internet and LOOK around you. What do you see? 

What do you look like? Look INSIDE you. Is it the same as what's 

around you? Look back at your social media. Is it the same as 

what's inside you? Are you helping to end this division or 

perpetuate it? Are you posting all of this divisive crap? Are you 

reposting half-truths without researching them? Are you using 

the same manipulated statistics? Are you reposting the same 

old tired quotes? Are you being selfish or selfless? Do you 

want this to be YOUR country? Or would you rather have 

OUR country?

To have, and to hold...

Trump Wins and We ALL Lose or I'm Calling You Out, Bible Belt

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           I am simply astounded by last night’s Super Tuesday results. I sat with my mouth gaping open as update after update came in. Really, Bible Belt? REALLY? What has happened to the part of the country I’ve always been so proud to call my point of origin? When did it become okay for someone like that to become a leader? I’m going to debunk some of the crap I keep hearing spewed about how “great” this man is and how he’s going to “make America great again”.

            The first piece of nonsense I’m hearing is that he’s “financing his own campaign.” Bull. If he were, there wouldn’t be a “donate” button on his website. He wouldn’t have raised 27.3 MILLION dollars to “finance” his campaign. No, it’s not as much as some, but, it’s not small change, either. Here’s another little thing for you to think about, he’s not a self-made man. He received a LARGE inheritance from his father, which he then used to build his “empire”. He also used the U.S. government to help restructure his businesses four times through Chapter 11. He did this four times. He got debt forgiveness and extended time to pay bills. Trust me, people, he’s not going to show you how to get rich. If he can’t manage his money or businesses without governmental intervention, how in the world is he going to manage a country that is trillions of dollars in debt? 

 

            Another piece of nonsense I hear is that he’s going to “protect us” from all of those “illegal immigrants”. You know the ones I’m talking about, the “murderers and rapists”.  Of all the rapes in the United States, 65% are done by WHITE AMERICANS. Of all the murders in the United States, 48.2 % are done by WHITE AMERICANS and 49.4% are done by BLACK AMERICANS. Of all the illegal immigrants in the United States, in 2013, eight, yes EIGHT were convicted of murder. Just in case that doesn’t make sense to you, look at it this way, that’s eight out of 11.2 MILLION illegal immigrants. They aren’t the ones doing the murdering and raping, here. Most of the ones I’ve met or seen are hard-working individuals trying to save money and send it back home to their families. Am I saying let everyone in who wants in? No. We need to support our own. We need to feed our hungry and homeless. But, let me remind you of Christ’s words in Matthew:

Matthew 25:42-46New International Version (NIV)

⁴² For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, ⁴³ I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’

⁴⁴ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’

⁴⁵ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

⁴⁶ “Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life.”

More nonsense is how he respects the “working man”. I struggle with how anyone could respect a man enough to vote for him when he has no respect for anyone other than himself. He is constantly belittling and putting down others for being different. His disdain for women is evident. How many do you think he will have in leadership positions when he’s done? He speaks out of both sides of his mouth. He says what people want to hear when they want to hear it. He’s making a mockery of diversity when his own family was immigrants. How many of your family were immigrants. Only part of mine was. How do you think he is going to act in a room full of foreign dignitaries? Does he really deserve to represent our country? Let me tell you what the Psalmist David has to say about that in Psalm 140:

3They make their tongues as sharp as a serpent’s;

the poison of vipers is on their lips.

8Do not grant the wicked their desires, Lord;

do not let their plans succeed.

11May slanderers not be established in the land;

may disaster hunt down the violent.

            I feel sorry for people who are listening to his words and taking them to heart. I feel sorry for people who believe he will truly do what he claims to do. When was the last time you voted for any politician who kept his or her word? It saddens me to think of all the people who are voting for him, particularly in the Bible Belt. How can they love all people as we are instructed, yet permit this person to become a leader when he has only love of self? He’s saying things and doing things that make me wonder how many people truly feel the way he feels in their hearts. How many of these people are actually closet racists? If the man is standing up there and making generalizations about people based on their race, he’s a racist. If you agree with him, so are you.

How many are actually more in love with this man for his money than his actions? He’s not putting any of that money to work for you. Do you REALLY think he’s going to stop the tax breaks his wealthy buddies get? He’s building an empire on poor people. How many gambling addicts support his empire? If it weren’t for people with addictions, he wouldn’t have the empire he has. Do you really want to be associated with that? Aren’t we, as Christians, supposed to be helping those in need and not making a profit off of them? How about this, how about people spend some time examining their hearts, examining the facts, examining the scripture, and then examining him. I think you will find some big discrepancies in what God says and what he says.

An Open Letter to ALL Iowa Legislators

Dear Senator

I teach multiple science classes at Boone High School. I live in Ames and my children attend Ames Schools. No school funding increase means my science classes are larger, I have to make materials stretch even further, and I have to spend less time allowing my students to explore. Science is NOT a subject one simply learns. It is a subject one DOES. Less funding means we do less. Doing less loses students. Their interest wanes. If we want our students to become world leaders through a STEM education, it must be funded on every level. Our students cannot compete globally if schools are wrecked financially. The World Class Education we are reaching for and trying to compete for to allow our students to have will never come to fruition if our schools are not funded and supported by our state. 

It seems to me that you spent more time on school start dates than you have on school funding. Is a fair really that important? I understand it brings revenue. Changing the start date of schools really isn’t going to bring in more revenue. The people who choose not to attend will still choose not to attend. Most families prefer to go on a weekend day, as it helps keep their children on a more routine schedule. Is potential revenue from a fair really more important than students having current textbooks and access to materials for their classes? Are you going to put that extra revenue towards schools as you used this as your excuse to change the start dates?

I have a question for you. Why is it necessary to have an $718,000,000 surplus/emergency fund? I agree we need an emergency fund. Natural disasters happen. However, nearly a billion dollars sitting in your pockets while students have to SHARE textbooks is asinine. A mere five percent of this “surplus” would cover what schools need.

So many of my coworkers and the educators of my children take summer jobs to help make ends meet. I, myself, have done it many summers while my children were home. Why do we do that? It’s not because the pay isn’t enough. It’s because the school funding isn’t enough. We buy many of our own supplies as it is. We feed children from our own pockets. If you take away all of our funding, we will have to purchase more supplies in addition to the food many of us keep in our classrooms.

As a teacher in Boone Schools and a citizen of Ames, I implore you to take a serious look at the school funding issue presently in front of you. Currently, because of your partisan, contentious arguments (also known as a pissing contest) with each other, students, schools, and school personnel are bowing under the pressure of a zero percent increase. Did you take a raise this year? Was it your education that helped you to get into the position you currently hold? Or did you just have the “charisma” and “luck” to get elected?

You have two options at this point. You can fund schools, allow our children to continue to grow, give them the opportunities they need in order to become globally competitive, and allow us to encourage their further interest in education. OR, you can continue to ignore the fact that our schools need more funding and push Iowa further down on the list of states with well-funded and well educated students who will make an impact in their communities, their state and the world. The choice is yours.

Respectfully,

Shannon Lumley

Fat, Flawed, Forties, and Fabulous

I often never know where I'm going to go once I get started on a blog post. I usually just let my fingers express what my brain is trying to say. I've had something rolling around in my head for a while trying to get out, so, I'm going to put it here. I have been seeing a lot of things lately about weight loss and weight gain. But, what I'm seeing is, deep-down, about so much more than weight. For me, bottom line, the issue is about acceptance. It's about accepting ourselves, accepting others, and accepting life for what it is and what we make of it.

I never struggled with my weight. I gained the "Freshman Fifteen". No big deal. I was pretty skinny. I got married and got pregnant right away. Twins! What a blessing! I didn't know that twins would take all 5'3" of me and twist and turn and pull and stretch until certain parts never resembled the girl/woman who first got married and pregnant. Though the boys were born at 37 weeks, I measured 48 weeks. Put in other terms, HUGE! It wasn't pregnancy weight that changed me. It was pregnancy skin. That skin even hung on the insides of my thighs where skin had been pulled UP to accommodate two rather large babies. But, that skin was the start of a downward spiral for me.

One of the first things my doctor told me was it would NEVER go away. It didn't matter if I did a million sit-ups a day, it was there to stay. No big deal. I wanted more kids and was too busy with two little ones to worry about it. Fast forward five years and there are two more. Four kids aged five and under. Drinking Dr. Pepper all day helped me have the energy I thought I needed. Eating became stress relief. It was a treat to have ice cream or sugary cereal once all four kids were down for the night. It was my down time. It was my de-stress time. It was my "fill in the skin that's stuck there because it's never going away, anyway" time.

It took a long time before I finally got sick of myself and what I looked like. I got tired of going to plus sizes. So, I decided, FOR ME to do something about it. That's where the problem lies for so many. My husband never ONCE criticized me for how much weight I had gained. He loved me for me and never pointed out I wasn't the same size I was when we married. He even said it was partially his fault because he wanted kids as much as I did. Once I started losing weight, it got easier as the time went by to keep doing it. I lost 50 pounds and thought it was great! Until, I started looking around me. DARN IT! There were STILL plenty of women smaller than me! I slowly gave up. I slowly got "too busy" to work out any more. I convinced myself "I'll never be small enough" and "without surgery to get rid of the skin, I'll always be a size or two larger."

This is where we, as women, totally screw up. We constantly compare ourselves to others. We are inundated with perfection. It's on TV.  I'll never forget a commercial for ham where these women are watching another woman eat. They are gasping and shocked that she's just eating the ham and one of them comments, "A perfect size SIX!" That suddenly became my goal. I truly believed a size six was THE perfect size.

Back to the perfection inundation. It's in magazines. It's in books."She's smaller, she's smarter, she's more successful, her house is more clean, her kids behave better", the list can go on and on. Then, we have the opposite. We have the, "at least I don't look like that, MY kids would never do that, my job makes more money, I get more recognition, I may be fat, but at least I'm a lot nicer than she is". Anyone identifying with me, yet?

Where did we go wrong? I honestly believe we went wrong when we let others dictate what can make us happy. It shouldn't matter if I'm overweight if I'm happy. It shouldn't matter if you sit in a cubicle all day or if you are center stage as long as you are happy. It shouldn't matter if someone makes more money if you're happy. It shouldn't matter if your kids are a little rambunctious and curious if you're happy.

My kids have ALWAYS been curious to the point of tearing things up just to put them back together. I cannot tell you the number of random screws and missing tools we've dealt with over the years. But, I currently have two considering careers in engineering. That makes me happy. I've been criticized for encouraging their curiosity and spontaneity.  It made me question myself. It made me question my ability to parent. But, it made my kids happy.

I'm now 41 years old. A size six isn't possible without surgery. I DON'T CARE. I've finally reached a point my my life where fit is better than fat. I can run up stairs. I rarely get really sick. I have skin and I have stretch marks from my boobs to my knees and I have four gorgeous, intelligent, caring children. I'd take every bit of the stretch marks and skin again. I struggled over the past couple of years with jealous over friends who got bypass surgery to lose weight. I was jealous because they lost a TON of weight in a hurry. Now, I'm thankful I never needed a surgery to lose weight.

Flawed is better than fake. I'm only me and as long as I'm the best me I can be, I'm happy. Do I screw up? Yep. But, when I ground my child from electronics, take the phone and laptop, leave the house forgetting about the kindle, only to come home and find that my child had placed it on top of the phone and laptop, my flaws seem to lessen. I've done my best to teach my children to be genuine and honest. Things like this tell me I've done my job, even when I feel like I'm failing miserably.

Forties and Fabulous are here. I've decided my gray hair is a badge. I've decided I still love my heels and my sparkle. I've decided the best thing I can do is not compare myself to anyone either in a good way or a bad way. The whole reason women are mean to each other is to feel better about themselves. I see it EVERY SINGLE DAY and I try to discourage it where I can. I want our next generation of ladies to embrace each other, to support each other, to help each other, and, most of all, to ACCEPT each other. The time of "me" needs to become the time of "us". Until we do this, it will always be a stunner when an "average" sized, "average" income, "average" WOMAN does something the media labels "special". Guess what, Ladies? We do it, every day. Now is the time to accept yourself. YOU are amazing.

Let Me Teach

CC, RTI, PLC, NCLB, NGSS…know what these acronyms mean? You do if you are an “educator”. Do you know why I say, “educator”? Because we aren’t allowed to teach any more. We are required to educate based on the newest set of letters to hit the academic spectrum. Don’t know what the newest letters are? Better figure it out because your administration does and they want you to follow it. Haven’t been to any meetings or trainings about it? Be prepared because it’s coming. Then, ask your school system…Let me teach.

Why is the failure of the American system of education always blamed on the teachers? Yet, successes are given to a set of letters if the school system follows it? “This is the newest and greatest thing we’ve ever seen!” Until the next one comes around… The only thing ALL of these programs are doing is causing teachers to have to take MORE time away from actual teaching to spend on learning about education and how to fix it. I’ll tell you how to “fix it”. Let me teach.

Why are we comparing ourselves to the Chinese? They are more successful. They have higher graduation rates. Their kids have higher scores. Would you like to know why? It starts at home. When a student “isn’t getting it”, the parents help out. They don’t go asking the teacher why the teacher failed. They EXPECT their student to do the work. They don’t wait until parent conferences to find out what’s going on. They talk to their kids. They set high expectations. They allow their teachers to be professionals and trust the teachers’ judgments. They let their teachers teach.

Our students are throwing around words like depression, bipolar, and even migraine like they are badges or, better yet, excuses.  “I didn’t do my homework last night because I was too depressed.” (Yes, that is an ACTUAL excuse I’ve heard) “I tried, but I didn’t understand it Can you help me?” This is a thing of the past. Parents are not holding their students responsible the way ours did, the way I try to with my own. We are expected to know every problem the students have and try to find a way to work around their issues within the classroom and their assignments. Some teachers are so scared of parents; they have become willing to do work for students. I have a better idea. Let me teach.

Post a Photo With No Makeup? Are You Nuts??!!

The no-makeup-selfie has hit the Internet. It’s in support of breast cancer awareness. I have to say, when it hit, I thought it was the best one, yet. Let’s face it, the whole bra color and where your purse is at the moment were really just a tease to men. That’s the reason I chose not to participate in either of those. It didn’t raise awareness; it just piqued curiosity and made men wonder what women were up to.

I recently read something posted by a breast cancer survivor. She states that it isn’t brave for women to go without makeup and post it for everyone to see. She sees it as a slap in the face of those who’ve survived cancer. I respectfully choose to disagree with her statements. I do see it as a form of support. By my way of thinking, most women who are going through chemotherapy, surgery, or radiation treatments probably don’t feel much like using their energy reserves to don their face covering on a daily basis. At least, that’s been my experience. Short of shaving our heads, going without makeup for something that can be seen over and over is a pretty solid way of saying we support you, Ladies.

While there are many women who go without makeup every day, there are those who cannot and will not go without. I am in love with my makeup. In my purse are seven different shades of lipstick, two shades of liner, and extra mascara. I do NOT like to be seen without my makeup. I have many friends who feel the same way. Southern women are even more likely to struggle with this form of support, which makes it so strong to me. We are taught to not even go to the store without lipstick and mascara at a minimum. It’s just a thing. A thing we do.

Most of us do not have first-hand experience going through cancer. We don’t know the pain felt and haven’t experienced the sickness women feel from all the chemicals being forced into their bodies. We can’t know the horror, fear, worry, stress, and despair women feel when they get that unwanted diagnosis. But, we do what we can. We support our friends through it. We hold their hands. We fix meals. We call, write, text, drop in, and cry with our sick sisters. We love, we show support, we raise funds, and, we post selfies with no makeup. You go, Ladies. Be brave and be bare.

#mcm and #wcw Can your relationship survive?

#mcm and #wcw are getting to be a pretty big deal. Why? I suppose I could understand if a person were single and wanted to post a picture of a celebrity. Or, a single person might actually want to get the attention of his or her TRUE crush and doesn’t know another way. That’s fine. That’s cool. But, WHY would a married or committed person feel the need to do it?

Ok. I get it. We all have our favorite actors and actresses. But, when does being a “fan” turn into “fanatic” (yes, I know that’s what “fan stands for, but, I feel that the connotation is different) or “fantasy”? When does it turn into disrespect? That’s the issue I have with it. If my husband posted a picture of a celebrity as his “woman crush”, I would be ticked. I’m pretty sure a lot of women would be. It has nothing to do with whether or not the person is attainable. It’s because, may women would say,  “I know what HE’S thinking about her when he posts that picture!” Really? Exactly what are YOU thinking when you do it?

I feel like it would be very disrespectful to my husband if I were to post a picture of another man as my “man crush”.  Am I going to cross paths with a celebrity one day who will confess his undying love? Heck no. That’s not the issue. The issue is, posting that picture would tell others I am not 100% satisfied in my relationship.  I think it would make couples feel like they are not each other’s ideal mate and that they have yet another thing to live up to, that they can’t, because, let’s face it, so few of us get to post airbrushed, touched up, professional pictures for everyone to drool over. THAT is wherein lies the biggest problem.

These “crushes” are usually fake. Not that they aren’t real people. They certainly are real people. However, the photos that make their way to us are NOT what the people actually look like. They are what professionals WANT you to see, want you to want, want you to want to be., and, dare I say, want you to want your partner to be. Sorry. Give me real any day.

Here’s another item to think about. It may start innocently enough. But, what if, just, what IF, some guy sees that “crush” post and doesn’t think a gal is happy? What if he decides to “be her friend” because she’s obviously looking for more? What if she’s flattered and starts thinking she is looking for more because he thinks she is because she posted a picture of a celebrity as her “crush”. What if the friend slightly resembles the celebrity? Yeah. Sure. It’s a lot of speculation. But, many a thing starts out innocently enough. So, my question is this, #mcm and #wcw, can your relationship survive it?